My husband was talking to me in a way that felt disrespectful. I said something to the effect of don’t talk to me like that or be kind. And he got mad.
He was acting reserved and shut off for the next couple of hours, quiet and keeping to himself.
I went to go talk with him and say I’m sorry I made you mad but I didn’t like how you were talking to me. He was laying on the couch and I went to sit down next to him and as I was sitting down he one arm shoved me by my arm and said in a fairly aggressive way “get away from me.”
He’s experienced a significant amount of trauma and I believe was feeling and thinking about a lot of sad things tonight but he’s never done this. This was a definite crossing of a line for me and I’m in shock and also asking myself if it’s really that big of a deal even though part of me knows that it was.
I’m worried he will gaslight me or not take ownership of this. As a lurker on many posts like this I feel like the answer is always something to the effect of “this is how it starts” but I can’t quite fathom that and want to give grace.
Shocked and not sure how to even think about responding. Even now I go between thinking that was a big deal to not a big deal. I guess I’m looking for balanced wisdom.