u/Emotional-Pipe-335

Hello all, I wrote this song for my Stevenson-cycle last evening and am looking for some feedback. I found the poem really charming, and the song came quickly to me after reading it; I'd just been on an evening walk, and it was a starry night, so that definitely helped!

Score: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HvaS3A4yG_sLFl65comUWyjUcP_LT8sQ/view?usp=sharing

Recording:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aK3cQuywITmkQ3iIOVV4FFIpnZh1srzp/view?usp=sharing

Poem:

The lights from the parlour and kitchen shone out
Through the blinds and the windows and bars;
And high overhead and all moving about,
There were thousands of millions of stars.
There ne’er were such thousands of leaves on a tree,
Nor of people in church or the Park,
As the crowds of the stars that looked down upon me,
And that glittered and winked in the dark.

The Dog, and the Plough, and the Hunter, and all,
And the star of the sailor, and Mars,
These shone in the sky, and the pail by the wall
Would be half full of water and stars.
They saw me at last, and they chased me with cries,
And they soon had me packed into bed;
But the glory kept shining and bright in my eyes,
And the stars going round in my head.

​​I just finished a song from a Stevenson cycle I’ve been working on and would really appreciate some feedback.

Score: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-aGOcLg3OqqKUK-dGMagxVCsbr0GXI3K/view?usp=sharing
Recording (rough, and I’m not much of a singer, but should give a good overview of the song​​): https://drive.google.com/file/d/14I7c8FpoSyOpwP8SlsdokIXOfv9wUFI_/view?usp=sharing

There’s a section in the middle where things shift pretty suddenly​, it gets much more dissonant and there's a significant rhythmical shift. ​I’m a bit unsure about it: does​​ it feel like a natural intensification, or does it come across as forced?

I’d also really appreciate any thoughts on the vocal line, especially if anything feels awkward to sing.

Also​​, does the piece feel coherent as a whole?

The song is based on one of my favorite Stevenson poems:

Sing me a song of a lad that is gone,
Say, could that lad be I? 
Merry of soul he sailed on a day 
Over the sea to Skye.

Mull was astern, Rum on the port, 
Eigg on the starboard bow; 
Glory of youth glowed in his soul; 
Where is that glory now?

Sing me a song of a lad that is gone, 
Say, could that lad be I? 
Merry of soul he sailed on a day 
Over the sea to Skye.

Give me again all that was there, 
Give me the sun that shone! 
Give me the eyes, give me the soul, 
Give me the lad that's gone!

Sing me a song of a lad that is gone,
Say, could that lad be I? 
Merry of soul he sailed on a day 
Over the sea to Skye.

Billow and breeze, islands and seas, 
Mountains of rain and sun, 
All that was good, all that was fair, 
All that was me is gone.

Hello all, I just finished a new song for the Stevenson cycle I'm working on, and would much appreciate your feedback, especially on the piano part: would you find it comfortable to play​? ​What do you think of the textures and the piano writing in general​​​?​​​

Here's the score: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-aGOcLg3OqqKUK-dGMagxVCsbr0GXI3K/view?usp=sharing

​Here's a recording (I'm not a very good singer, so replace vocals with a baritone of choice): https://drive.google.com/file/d/14I7c8FpoSyOpwP8SlsdokIXOfv9wUFI_/view?usp=sharing

The song is based on one of my favorite Stevenson poems:

Sing me a song of a lad that is gone,
Say, could that lad be I?
Merry of soul he sailed on a day
Over the sea to Skye.

Mull was astern, Rum on the port,
Eigg on the starboard bow;
Glory of youth glowed in his soul;
Where is that glory now?

Sing me a song of a lad that is gone,
Say, could that lad be I?
Merry of soul he sailed on a day
Over the sea to Skye.

Give me again all that was there,
Give me the sun that shone!
Give me the eyes, give me the soul,
Give me the lad that's gone!

Sing me a song of a lad that is gone,
Say, could that lad be I?
Merry of soul he sailed on a day
Over the sea to Skye.

Billow and breeze, islands and seas,
Mountains of rain and sun,
All that was good, all that was fair,
All that was me is gone.

Hello all, I just finished a new song for the Stevenson cycle I'm working on, and would much appreciate your feedback. Here's the score: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-aGOcLg3OqqKUK-dGMagxVCsbr0GXI3K/view?usp=sharing

It's based on one of my favorite Stevenson poems:

Sing me a song of a lad that is gone,
Say, could that lad be I?
Merry of soul he sailed on a day
Over the sea to Skye.

Mull was astern, Rum on the port,
Eigg on the starboard bow;
Glory of youth glowed in his soul;
Where is that glory now?

Sing me a song of a lad that is gone,
Say, could that lad be I?
Merry of soul he sailed on a day
Over the sea to Skye.

Give me again all that was there,
Give me the sun that shone!
Give me the eyes, give me the soul,
Give me the lad that's gone!

Sing me a song of a lad that is gone,
Say, could that lad be I?
Merry of soul he sailed on a day
Over the sea to Skye.

Billow and breeze, islands and seas,
Mountains of rain and sun,
All that was good, all that was fair,
All that was me is gone.