Hi everyone. I’m a lighter judoka, i usually find for minus 66 div, and I recently had a really rough training session with someone around 86 kg. He is not a bad person, and during drilling he is actually willing to be thrown and cooperate. So I don’t think there was malicious intent.
But during randori and newaza, his style felt very spazzy and physically overwhelming. In tachiwaza, when I entered for seoi-nage, he would push, grab from behind, and brute-force counter me. A few times I felt like I was being lifted or muscled around rather than countered with clean technique. I also found myself almost posting my hand during a fall, which scared me because I usually trust my ukemi.
In newaza, I got pinned and felt completely helpless. I forgot my escapes, couldn’t breathe properly, and mentally just gave up. I tapped from pressure because I felt crushed. That feeling stayed with me after training.
The confusing part is that I did throw him several times too — with things like left uchimata, sumi-gaeshi, weak-side osoto-gari, and a counter when he came in for ouchi-gari. Those throws felt technical and didn’t require much force. But somehow I got almost no satisfaction from that. Instead, the moments where he used size and rough pressure bothered me much more.
I know technically there are answers: better gripping, not stopping in the middle of seoi, using footwork, not fighting for hip position with someone much heavier, building better frames in newaza, etc. I’m not really asking for only technical advice.
Emotionally, I just feel really frustrated. It feels awful when someone much heavier and technically rough can still make you feel helpless. It makes me afraid of in-club tournament, especially because I may have to fight people heavier than me. Last time i was paired up with a guy who is 110 kilos. I also feel ashamed that I’m this affected by it.
Has anyone else, especially lighter judoka, experienced this? How did you deal with the emotional side of being overwhelmed by heavier, rougher training partners without becoming bitter, scared, or obsessed with proving yourself?
Add on: there are not many guys who are around my weight in my dojo, so on a daily average I spar with one who is AT LEAST five six kilos heavier then me(and thats only if I’m lucky). Before i see it as a opportunity to improve my frame and grip but now im getting really really tired of it