You: Very tall, very beautiful woman at the 10:30pm Bottom of the Barrel show solo. You blurted out "no!" way too quickly when the comedian asked if hemmerhoids were only a male thing. You stole the show(and my heart) exchanging banter with each comedian and roasting the weird right wing conspiracy nut dude in the crowd. You were the funniest person in the building tonight.
Me: Very tall bearded man also in the front row. I was swooning over you in the bar pre-show and continued to all night, I'm sure you noticed me looking often. I fumbled when put on the spot about getting boned by an entire hockey team.
You look like you're probably a Redditor and I pray you see this. You were solo and I was 3rd wheeling, so we should fall in love. Maybe I already have.