Do I have a basis to talk to HR about someone spreading rumors that I sexually assaulted someone and another person taking that rumor and blasting it publicly online as retaliation? [CA]
OK, so here’s the full story. After my (F26) first ever drag performance, I made a video diary entry for my alternative TikTok, where I kind of just share things about my life, (it is NOT a big account. I don’t even tag or caption videos) and in the video, I say “I saw my coworker, love you, you looked- I said ‘it’s so good to see you!’ And he was just- * I stare into the camera with a blank stare for a moment* I’m like, okay, you’re on something that’s fine. Like, at first I thought- my rejection sensitivity dysphoria said ‘does he not like me?!’ No he’s just high” COMPLETELY forgetting he’s sober. Fucked up on my part, but I didn’t even name drop him, and I was saying that to cope with my own insecurities, which I’m enough of a man to admit. 10 days later, he posted to his public drag Instagram account of the clip of me saying that, and saying something along the lines of, “No I just don’t like people who un consensually touch blackout gay men at parties,” AND he tagged my drag account. Instead of speaking with me, privately, he decided to take that moment of me being mistaken, and blasted about it publicly online, while also making an accusation, as retaliation. I understand that I caused him pain and I am sorry for that, but the mature response would’ve been to speak to me privately about it instead of saying something online that isn’t true.
Now to dive into that a little bit more. Me and my friends don’t know who he’s talking about, so my friend, from an alternative account, messaged him and said “I throw parties that she goes to, do you mind telling me what happened and if it might’ve happened at one of my parties?” And he said his coworker told him that someone told his coworker that I did that. So a coworker is making claims to other coworkers that I sexually assaulted someone. And there’s only one coworker who one knows anybody I used to be at parties with. So I know it’s them spreading it. And the only person that I know that would say something untrue like that to the coworker spreading the rumor, is the fuck ass twink whose words hit me over the edge and drove me to a suicide attempt when I was 22. He also knew I was, at the time, suicidal. And he actually scolded me for even mentioning that I was to the group.
The running hypothesis is that when Evil Twink #2 (yes there’s someone worse than him) got kicked from the friend group, I didn’t make my position on how I felt about him clear. But after one time he came into my work as my coworkers client and tried to speak to me, I made how I felt about him clear. (I wasn’t even super mean. When he tried to speak to me, I cut him off and said “don’t talk to me.” And then, when he tried to continue, I said, “I don’t wanna talk to you.” I was setting a boundary) It was only after that did people start treating me poorly.
So one coworker publicly defamed me while another coworker is spreading lies about me, pretty serious ones too. I can’t find the screenshots of exactly what was posted to my coworkers story, but I do have the screenshot of our conversation afterwards when I respond to the story, and I also have screenshots from when he spoke to my friend.
So I was wondering if I have any basis to go talk to my job about this, because now I feel uncomfortable and unwelcome in the salon department, where he and that other coworker works.
I live in California, so I follow California state law.
Edit: spelling
Edit/add on: my concern is the coworkers spreading rumors about me, NOT the clash between me and the one that posted publicly about me. That was me showing how I found out, and how a rumor at work is affecting my personal life. I want to know if I have any basis on reporting the coworker about the harmful rumor that grew past the work place.