Sorry for the long post, I have a lot to get off my chest and I am looking for advice.
I was diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer at 18. I had surgery and chemotherapy in 2024, and now I only have one ovary left. I’m posting to see if anyone has faced similar conflicting medical advice or extreme family stress during recovery.
The Medical Confusion
When I was treated abroad, the doctor monitored a benign cyst in my remaining ovary via ultrasound. Their plan was for me to try to get pregnant within the first five years, then they would remove the remaining ovary. However, in my home country, the doctors say the opposite: I must wait five years before pregnancy because hormone spikes could cause a recurrence.
I initially went to a new specialized cancer hospital here, but they said my blood tests were good and didn't see the cyst at all. Because it was too crowded, I switched to an older hospital where the doctors are from the same team but the process is much faster. They have been monitoring me through CT scans, which is actually how they recently diagnosed me with S-curve scoliosis this past February. I’m mainly confused about why the advice during these five years is so contradicting. One side says pregnancy should happen now before the ovary is removed, while the other says to avoid it completely for five years.
The Family Situation
My bio dad covers all my expenses, including my past treatment abroad and all travel costs. However, my mom’s behavior has made my recovery a nightmare. She fluctuates between hiding my diagnosis and then parading it to everyone for attention or posting about being sad online. She refuses to let me see friends or go anywhere alone; she’ll agree initially, then insist on dragging herself along.
Most painfully, she uses the money my dad sends to bring my stepdad along for their own health checkups, then leaves me alone at the hospital. She even laughed in my face when I was in pain because nurses had a hard time finding my veins for IVs. When I am staying at the hospital, she picks fights and curses me for hours, saying I should die so I won’t be a burden anymore. I’ve cried to my doctors multiple times about this, even though I haven't cried in a long time before that. She still curses me to die whenever she’s having a bad day and exaggerates my results to my dad to get more money or push for unnecessary surgeries.
Moving Forward
Once I start working, I plan to go to my appointments completely alone. My hospital fees are free because of my national security fund card, so I only need to manage the travel and food. I would rather deal with the minor inconvenience of watching my own bags during a scan than endure the verbal abuse and being used as a prop for her drama. I need to be able to rest and focus on my health without being dragged into her behavior.
Has anyone else dealt with completely opposite medical opinions regarding pregnancy after cancer? And for those who had to navigate toxic family while sick, how did you manage to set boundaries and do it alone?