u/ElectronicYard5287

32 F here. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 this morning. It felt like a punch to the gut. Never in a million years did I ever consider that bipolar disorder is what is wrong with me. I’ve struggled with what I thought was just depression and anxiety since I was 16. My mom struggled with bipolar disorder for my entire childhood, in and out of mental hospitals. Going through frequent manic episodes. I resented her so badly. I always thought why do I have to have a mom like this? And now I’m just like her. I start my meds tonight. I’m afraid of all the listed side effects. My mind is racing, I feel like everyone is going to label me as crazy now. I’m afraid my dad is going to think I’m turning into my mom, I’m afraid my boyfriend is going to leave me. I feel lost. I’m so tired of it all.