Family visiting my new home
I recently bought an apartment and of course have cleaned it perfectly, now it is my safe haven.
My brother is coming to sleep over only for 1 night on the weekend and I cant stop thinking about how to protect it from him. Especially my new couch and my carpet which is quite thick and heavy, are two main trigger points for me because of how hard they are to clean back to perfect.
I bought other pillows for my couch and a cover for it, and I can also put a blanket down on the carpet. But I cant stop playing over how I'm going to proof it in my head, it's still 4 days away and I think about the setup over and over.
I also feel sad because I want my family and friends to see my cool new place and feel comfortable being here, but it fills me with so much panic already at the thought of him coming. Even just the way people enter, I put a safe zone mat for shoes but then people always step on it after they take off their shoes which defeats the whole purpose.
I don't know anyone else with OCD and even though all my friends and family know I have it, I still feel ashamed and panicky every time I have to ask for something in particular, and they "try" but they don't do it right and then they get frustrated or dismissive when I react.
It's just such a hard disease, I hate it so much.