u/Electrical_Spread892

I don’t know how to formulate this i don’t want to offend anyone. i just feel like i am behind in a lot of aspects compared to the people i went to school with. I’m in college which im taking online because i had a freak out and now i feel uncomfortable at school just straight up paranoid and i had a public freakout so I can’t go back to community college without having that dread that someone is going to recognize me. I haven’t worked a job and it’s mostly because my first episodes started the same time I graduated high school and Ive spent four years in community college I know my condition isn’t the worst I only have auditory hallucinations but the delusions are what kills me I feel persecuted every few months and it lingers I’m agoraphobic at this point I hardly leave the house I feel pathetic I left most of my friends behind because during psychosis I felt that everyone hated me. I’m supposed to transfer after summer which is exciting for me it’s gonna be a new beginning but I know I can’t outrun the disease regardless