u/Electrical_Ability93

Patient : What's wrong?

Doctor : It is about your colon.

Patient : What? wasn't it fine the last time we checked?

Doctor : don't worry it is a minor issue more like a semi colon.

Patient : Just great, along with mid life crisis now I have intestinal crisis too.

Doctor : Okay do not feel gutted right now.I have won so many apostrophies in this field.

Me talking to my flickering light bulb :

You always throw me a filament of surprise.

On a first date

She : so what do you do ?

He : I am a fire fighter.

She : wow,that is so hot.

He : *puts on his boxing gloves* where?