u/ElectricalBoard

I was lucky enough to get close to an INFJ, and she became my favourite person.

Spending time with her felt unlike anything else I had experienced. Watching her think was almost unreal, like I had front-row seats to something rare and deeply human. The way she processed the world, the way she spoke, the way meaning seemed to sit underneath everything she noticed, it felt like she was seeing layers I had never learned to look for.

I found myself trying to understand her world. Not to analyse her coldly, but because I was fascinated. I started noticing her speech patterns, the things she didn’t say directly, the emotional weight behind small details. The more I understood her, the more something opened up in me.

Through her eyes, the world seemed to have more colour, more meaning, more feeling.

When we were together, I started to feel the contrast between us. The duality. The difference in how we moved through life. And then it hit me hard.

I loved her.

Not a little bit. Completely.

But I think she noticed. Noticed that I wasn’t just looking at her anymore, I was looking through her, into something she may not have wanted fully seen. Then came the retreat. At first it was subtle, almost like a quiet step backwards. Like she didn’t want to startle me, or herself, or whatever was happening between us.

When I realised she was pulling away, I panicked too. I found myself begging a God I don’t even believe in not to take her away from my life.

But some part of me knew it was happening.

After that, I found out about personality types. Eventually, I found this subreddit. I started reading your posts, your stories, your explanations of how you experience people, connection, overwhelm, trust, retreat, love, and being misunderstood.

And honestly, some of it broke me open.

At first, I would end up in tears reading your posts, especially when I recognised the mistakes I had made. Things I didn’t understand at the time. Things I wish I had handled more gently. More patiently. More carefully.

The hardest realisation was that the front-row seat I had into her life was a limited-edition ticket. It was not something I could just get back. It was worth far more than I understood while I had it.

I don’t think many of you realise the impact you have on people.

You can change someone’s inner world just by letting them close enough to see yours.

So I wanted to say thank you.

To her, and to all of you.

My world is different now. I am different now. Knowing people like you exist genuinely makes me smile, not the fake smile I use to get through the day, but a real one.

You are rare people. Not perfect, not magical, not above anyone else, but rare in the way you notice, feel, and carry meaning.

And maybe some of us who are not wired like you don’t always understand what we are being trusted with until it is too late.

I wish I had understood sooner.

❤️❤️❤️❤️🫂🫂🫂🫂

I didn’t just lose you. I lost the feeling of connection I had when you were in my life. That rare sense of being seen, being understood, being linked to another human in a way that felt meaningful and alive.

It was that rare feeling of closeness, the kind that doesn’t happen often in my life, because I don’t open that door easily. When I do, it’s deliberate.

It was real, even if you couldn’t hold it, honour it, or reciprocate it in a stable way. When you were in my life, even in that messy, inconsistent way, something inside me softened. I wasn’t carrying everything by myself. I wasn't walking through my days with that quiet, heavy solitude I’ve learned to live with.

That kind of connection is powerful and when it was suddenly gone....

Losing that kind of closeness feels like losing oxygen, a hollow space where warmth used to be, like the world tilts because it wasn’t just a person I lost, it was a rare state of being.

I loved you slowly, deeply, with loyalty, with presence, with that rare part of me that doesn’t open often. I loved you in the way that makes me feel not alone. I loved you in the way that made me want to protect you, understand you, and stand by you, even when you were chaotic and unfair.

That was my love.