Imagine being 10 years old and losing your mother, brother, and sister to the town’s failing sewage system. Then, just nine months later, your father is gone too.

The neighbors said they were "too young to die," but the reality of 17th-century life didn't care about what was fair. Left entirely on their own, 10-year-old Johann and 13-year-old Jakob had no choice but to walk.

They trekked 39.56 km through brittle, crunching snow to Ohrdruf, slogging toward the only hope they had left: their brother Christoph. Johann didn’t know the exact distance then—he just knew it was cold, it was long, and everything he knew was gone.

History isn't just dates; it’s the footsteps of children in the snow. ❄️🚶‍♂️

From: A Mostly True Story of Johann Sebastian Bach a Semi Autobiography Coauthored by David M. Jordan and Johann Sebastian Bach (in Absentia)

#History #FamilyStory #Resilience #Ancestry #1694 #BachAndSons #MustRead #DavidJordanAuthor

"Johann's Performance Review: A Highly Subjective Account"

From the Desk of Duke Wilhelm Ernst of Weimar (circa 1717)

Employee: Herr Johann Sebastian Bach

Position: Court Organist and Chamber Musician

Strengths: Unquestionably gifted. His fingers move faster than a squirrel with a stolen nut. Compositions are... complex. Very complex.

Areas for Improvement:

• Attendance: Frequently seen staring out windows.
• Teamwork: Has a habit of calling colleagues "nanny-goat bassoonists." (Note: this is not a term of endearment.)
• General Demeanor: Displays an "unseemly obstinacy" when asked to simply not quit. Has recently engaged in... let's call it "prolonged contemplation" in a secure facility after a particularly stubborn resignation attempt.
• Overall Recommendation: Talent undeniable. Temperament... requires divine intervention. Would recommend for any institution that enjoys both transcendent music and occasional chaos.

Signed,

Duke Wilhelm Ernst (currently nursing a headache)

#BachReview #HistoricalHumor #BossProblems #ClassicalMusicMemes #JohannSebastianBach #MusicHistory

 

 

 

About the author

About the Author

Have you ever wondered what magic unfolds when you mix expert music knowledge with captivating storytelling? Meet David Jordan. By day, decoding classical scores; by night, he's crafting stories that make history jump off the page and dance. Think less dusty textbook, more "you-won't-believe-this-actually-happened" entertainment.

Jordan doesn't just write about history—he resurrects it. Armed with meticulous research and a wit sharp enough to slice through centuries of stuffiness, he transforms long-gone composers from marble busts into flesh-and-blood characters you'd want to grab coffee with. (Though Bach might insist on meeting at a beer hall instead.)

And here's the best part: while he could easily flex his impressive musical credentials and lose us in a forest of technical terms, Jordan would rather invite you to pull up a chair and enjoy the show. His latest book feels less like a lecture and more like your smartest, funniest friend spilling historical tea—and trust me, these composers had enough drama to fuel a Netflix series.

No, he didn't write this book just for you (though wouldn't that be nice?). But crack open any page, and you might just think he did.