A Father's perspective on Mother's Day
On Mother’s Day, I sometimes find myself thinking about mothers whose children are estranged from them, and I honestly do not know how they bear it.
A mother carries her children differently than a father does. Long before anyone else held them, she carried them within herself. She remembers the first kicks, the sleepless nights, the scraped knees, the whispered prayers beside a bed. So when estrangement happens, it is not merely the loss of a relationship. It must feel, at times, like losing a part of her own heart while still having to wake up and live everyday life.
As a father, I know something of the silence estrangement brings. But I also know mothers often carry a unique weight on holidays like this. The world becomes filled with reminders—flowers, cards, smiling family photos, crowded restaurants after church. And underneath all of it can live a quiet ache that few people see.
I imagine many mothers wondering the same painful questions over and over. Did I fail somehow? Do they think I stopped loving them? Will I ever hear their voice again? Even when others surround them, there can still be an empty chair at the table of the heart.
What makes it even harder is that mothers rarely stop being mothers emotionally. Love keeps reaching long after contact has ended. A mother can still pray daily for a child she has not spoken to in years. She can still remember their favorite meal, their laugh, the way they looked as children. Love does not know how to simply shut itself off.
So today, my heart especially goes out to mothers carrying that hidden grief. Some will smile today while privately hurting. Some will stay busy to avoid the ache. Some will quietly cry when no one is looking.
And yet, the love they carry still matters.
The absence of reconciliation does not erase the years of sacrifice, tenderness, prayers, and care they poured into their children. Estrangement may create distance, but it cannot erase a mother’s love.
Today I simply want to say: I see that pain. And I believe God sees it too.