so for context i’m 20 weeks pregnant and me and my partner have started discussing what we want for postpartum and all that, and i am naturally an extreme introvert and generally not a “people person” not even with family members while he is super family oriented and loves being around any number of people for any amount of time
i have anxiety and recently learned that my MIL plans to bring a bed set up to our house and sleep on our apartment floor postpartum (we don’t have a spare bedroom) and i expressed a hard no. His response to that was “if my mom says she wants to stay i’m going to tell her yes”. i plan to breastfeed and all that and really don’t feel i will be able to mentally handle guests for the first couple weeks never mind someone sleeping on my floor, not even my own mother.
also, his parents are heavy smokers and ive expressed how i don’t feel comfortable with our child riding in their vehicle as they smoke in it (not that they would smoke around the baby) or for people to touch/hold the baby if they smell like cigarettes as i can’t stand the smell as it is and ive read it’s not good for them. His response is “the baby’s not gonna die he’ll be fine” and that boils my blood. (his mom also smoked the whole time she was pregnant with him)
the other boundaries i have are just your typical “don’t kiss the baby”, “wash your hands” and all that jazz
how in the heck do i navigate trying to have my own boundaries as the person giving birth if he’s just constantly contradicting them and won’t set them with his own family. he’s expressed boundaries he wants to have with mine but will not budge when it comes to his own family.