My husband is not hearing me
I’d like to preface this by saying this is not an invitation to msg me being freaky😭 leave me alone
I have been married for a year and a half almost and I’m 22 (F) my husband is 27 (m), obviously before anyone says anything, I know I got married young. My quarrels with him are all over the place but as of rn I have a couple things weighing on my mind. (Sorry for any typos or anything I’m too lazy to proofread)
Before we got married we were long distance so every time we had sex the anticipation and the fun was there and I came most times, he even went down on me. Now we’ve been together as a married couple for almost a year and a half and we don’t have sex too often because we spend 3/4 of our day without each other, he comes home around 7-8pm and my bed time is 10pm (I leave for work at 5am), so ofc I’m tired on weekdays. On weekends he has side projects so sometimes we will have sex then but he never makes an effort to make me cum even though I’ve told him on numerous occasions that I cannot cum from penetration. Alongside smaller issues in our relationship that aren’t that deep, this is causing me to get really annoyed of him. Everytime we have sex he asks me if I cum, and I say no. THEN HE DOES NOTHING ABOUT IT 😭 just says oh :( why didn’t you come. Man I told you numerous timesss I can’t 😭
Typically I would just flick the bean during sex and it would work but recently not even that is cutting it, I’m just not in it anymore, it hasn’t been pleasurable at all. We’ve been cutting costs (I can’t get waxed bc of this bc $$$) and he’s got issues w sensory so going down on me isn’t an option bc he doesn’t like the feeling of the bush, which bothers me a lot bc I have had many prev relationships where I was the main key focus in sex. I always received before they did. I don’t receive that pleasure or praise in this and I’m married to him. I brought it up yesterday and he said that he’ll just buy me a toy, like ??? ATP I will just do it personally on my own time. What’s the point of having a partner, there’s emotion attached to sex and orgasm.
Besides all of this, a childhood friend (who is a male) of mine that I haven’t spoken to in a longtime reached out to me and I’m feeling super confused. This childhood friend was always someone I loved platonically and romantically, well into high school. I possibly loved him more than anyone I’ve dated and vise versa for him as well, I know this because we’ve discussed it. Now that we’re talking again I’m even more confused on what to do with myself. This may be a horrible thing to say but I wish he would’ve come back into my life sooner, I’m worried I’m missing out on my youth and trying new things and new people bc I committed to someone so early. I forgot the early twenties were about making mistakes and finding myself, I rushed into this too quickly maybe.
I’m worried I’m in to deep and I don’t want to hurt my husband but tbh he’s hurt me a lot already, I left my family, friends and home to be with him just for him to not put in the effort to hang out with me, plan dates or make me cum 😭😭 he definitely shows his love for me but I don’t think he understands it’s not enough to sustain me and he def does not understand the sacrifices I made to be here with him. I’m legit a lonely girl trying to navigate my early twenties in a city alone w a husband who’s rarely home. I’m just confused tbh. I know 22 is young and I know I have a whole life ahead of me but we just bought a house, I’m beginning to feel trapped.