Question for serial daters
I am 50M and meet a 53F. We had a coffee date and ended up talking for two hours. Exchanged numbers, and she texted me some clear indicators that she was interested. This was on a Friday morning. So I scheduled a date with her for the next night we were both free which was the following Wednesday. She was headed out of town for the weekend, and we exchanged a few texts about what we were up to. Nothing extend, just a few texts a day. I was looking forward to dinner with her on Wednesday so I could get a bit more info about compatibility. She seemed to move fast with texting.
Day of the date comes, and before I checked to confirm with her, she cancels on me, it was around lunch time telling me she had a family emergency. I was disappointed, partially because I have had several last minute cancelations lately and they never reschedule. Also because I don’t like last minute cancellations particularly for the early dates, it’s a turn off. But sometimes it’s not just an excuse, but a real emergency. I texted her that I hoped everything was ok and to let me know if she wanted to reschedule, and she told me next week.
I did not contact her again, really for several reasons. One, I don’t know whether this cancelation was a low confrontation exit, maybe she changed her mind about me, has someone else she was more interested in, or something she would rather do than go out with me came up. No way to know, I barely know this woman.
So Sunday rolls around and I get a text from her that was very complementary of me but saying the she expected me to pursue her more, like call and text her. Now I am a bit taken aback by this because, we have spent two hours together and I don’t know her, and she canceled our second date at the last minute. What did she expect of me? I was looking forward to getting to know her better, but how do I even know if I want to pursue her at this point? She also mentioned that she is a serial dater, and while I didn’t tell her this because at this point it didn’t really matter, but I am a parallel dater. I need to take it slower and see if I want to invest in someone before going all in after one date.
Now clearly this is an incompatibility between us, which is fine. But my question for the serial daters, is this a normal expectation? That a man is going to pursue you and invest emotionally after one two hour coffee date? To me that screams desperate and I am far from that. I have several first dates coming up and more in the queue because I am looking for my person here.