I'm 30,the youngest of five. We grew up in though financial times,and that mindset still sticks with me.
I'm only one who made it out.i now head up the sales department at a large logistics firm.i make a decent living , but I don't live in luxury because I know how quickly it can all disappear.Let me clarify one thing right away to avoid any unnecessary questions: I’ve never given anyone in my family a gift as big as a car. At most, I’ve given electronics, helped with school, or sometimes money, but that was always on my own initiative and without any strings attached. Yes, there were times when I covered some major expenses, so maybe they got the impression that I’d cover this too.
A couple of weeks before my nephew’s 18th birthday, conversations started in the family chat. At first they were casual, then they started dropping hints. My brother wrote that it’s a special age, a once in a lifetime occasion. My sister added that he needs support right now. Then the jokes about keys and cars started. No one asked me directly, but from the tone, it was clear where they were heading.
I didn’t say anything. I figured that since I hadn’t promised anything, there was nothing to discuss. Now I realize they might have taken that as tacit consent, even though no one actually discussed it with me directly.
I came to the party with a gift that was really perfect for him. He’s a huge fan of a certain rapper, so I bought him tickets to the fan zone, got him some official merch a hoodie and a cap and gave him a little extra cash for travel and expenses. It came to about 300 bucks in total.
When he opened it, he was genuinely thrilled. He practically hugged me and said thank you, really sincerely.
But about 10 minutes later, at the table, my brother asked in front of everyone where the keys were. He wasn’t joking. At first I thought he was messing around, but he kept going now seriously, saying. Don’t pretend we discussed this. I calmly said that no one had discussed anything with me and I hadn’t promised him a car.
And here’s the strangest part. My nephew tried to say that he liked everything anyway, that the gift was awesome, but they literally cut him off. My sister told him to be quiet, and my brother cut him off too, as if his opinion didn’t matter at all.
Things got tense after that. No shouting, but those looks, the whispering. My sister said I could have at least warned them in advance. My brother started saying that money had spoiled me. I replied that if I bought one car now, everyone else would expect the same, and I wasn’t ready to take that on.
After that, they told me I'd put everyone in a awkward position and ruined the holiday.i didn't argue and left.
Now I'm thinking.on the one hand, I didn't promise anything.On the other, I saw this hints and kept quiet.
AITAH?