My stepmother has been the only mother I’ve ever known. My biological mother left when I was an infant; I lived with my grandparents until I was 3, and from that point on, my stepmother raised me. Growing up, it was "us against the world." No one even knew she wasn't my biological mother. However, the dynamic shifted a few years ago when our family relocated to join my father in a different country. My stepmother, a medical professional, began working 12-hour shifts. We grew distant, but I chalked it up to her being exhausted.
Due to visa issues, I eventually had to move back to our home country alone. While there, I lived in our family home, but my step-aunts (my mom’s sisters) began treating me poorly, gossiping about me and feeding my stepmother lies. Instead of defending me, she would call me and scream at me without ever asking for my side. Things peaked when a cousin tried to kick me out of my own room for New Year’s. When I stood my ground, she told me I "didn't belong there." I felt ambushed by the family and eventually moved overseas for work. In the rush, I accidentally took the house key with me. My stepmother had a fit, refused to listen to my explanation, and our relationship dwindled to five-minute surface-level conversations. The Engagement Cold Shoulder Years later, I met my husband. My stepmother was cold toward him from the start—she wouldn't even say hello to him when he was on the phone with my dad. When he proposed, my dad was there, but she wasn't. I sent her the video of the proposal immediately. She said nothing. Two days later, I called her, and she acted offended, claiming I "never told her" I was engaged. I tried to bridge the gap during wedding planning by asking for her advice, but she was totally indifferent. It was bittersweet having my mother-in-law step up while the woman who raised me checked out.
After my parents separated, my stepmother reached out to grab dinner. I thought this was our chance to rebuild. Instead, she dropped a bombshell: "I’ve thought about it, and I’m not coming to your wedding." Her excuse? She didn’t want to see my father or his family. I was devastated. I went to my car and sobbed. She was supposed to walk me down the aisle and pray over our marriage. I felt abandoned all over again—first by my biological mother, and now by her. I texted her, literally begging her to reconsider.
A month before the wedding, the "real" reason came out. A close cousin asked why I hadn't invited my brother or my step-aunts. I was confused—my brother had told me he couldn't afford the trip. It turns out, my stepmother was telling everyone she was boycotting the wedding because I had "excluded" her family. Yes, I did exclude her sisters, but I would never exclude my brother. When I confronted her, she played dumb. To make matters worse, my brother—who I thought was on my side—became a "no-show" on the day of the wedding without a single word or text. I’m struggling to process how the woman who was once my hero could not show up for me. So AITA?