u/Efficient-Ad-6224

For the past year - i believe ever since the passing of Pope Francis - my mind has made a really big return to catholicism. i was born and baptized catholic, and, since that return, even got confirmed.
I read through some lines of thought, i’m not a stranger to the contingency argument. all of it makes sense and is reasonable in my mind but i just can’t get myself to believe its true.
i really want it to be true, that’s what i want the most in my life. however it just doesn’t click for me, even tho it makes sense.
i’ve even debate some atheist friends of mine while knowing that, in my mind, my “faith” came from the fear of eternal nothingness after death ( not even hell itself).
i just hope i could make myself believe, even if Christ didn’t raise from the dead, because at least, when the time came, i would have hope of the afterlife and not fear.
i don’t want to go for a “fake it till you make it” approach because that’s not what was taught thru tradition and scripture. i wish it would all just click for me