I’m looking for honest thoughts from people who understand parental alienation.
I was married to my son’s mom during the first year of his life and was a present, loving father. When my son was around 2, his mom got with her current husband and immediately started pushing him as “dad.” At the time, we were living in different states.
Since then, I have been stuck in supervised visitation based on false allegations. I have never harmed my son or done anything to justify it. I have been through two custody cases in two different states and relocated twice to be closer to him. My son is now 7.
I also have a wife and two daughters, ages 4 and 5. My son has not even been allowed to meet his sisters.
We have a final hearing coming up in June, and I believe supervision would finally be lifted. But now his mom is requesting to relocate again. It feels coordinated because this case has dragged on for almost the exact amount of time her husband was stationed in our current state.
At recent visits, my son has said things like he wants me dead, wants me gone, and that I am not his family. I do not blame him. I believe he is carrying years of pressure and alienation.
At this point, I am exhausted. My marriage is struggling very badly because of this. My wife and daughters have sacrificed so much while I fought this case. We should have bought a home by now and built a stable life, but I have not been able to settle into a career or put down roots because I have constantly been moving and adjusting everything around this fight for my son.
Part of me feels like the closer I get to real time with my son, the worse the conflict gets for him and everyone else.
They have wanted stepparent adoption in the past, and I am now wondering if I should just let his stepdad adopt him so my son can have peace and my family can finally move forward.
Has anyone else reached this point? Did you keep fighting, or did you step away for the child’s peace?