Here's the truth I could never tell you
You are the only thing I've ever felt empathy for. The only thing I've ever felt what I can only call love towards. The only thing I've ever wanted to see happy.
You were something pure. Full of joy and kindness. Loving. Connection.
It wasn't about romance to me. It was about kinship. I thought I'd found a true friend for the first time in my life, but I knew you wanted more. I just didn't see you that way. I went along at first because I wanted your attention. I couldn't bear to let you go, but I couldn't bear lying to you either. I couldn't keep the act up.
I wasn't hurt because you got a boyfriend. I was hurt because you rejected all of me. Losing my only friend was the most hurt I've ever felt. It's why I still think about you and wish I could be your friend. I know you'll never want that. I know you'll never care about me. I know I don't deserve it. I am as cold and miserable as you suspected, but when I think of you...there's just something else.
I'll never stop being fascinated the memories of you. That's just how it is.