u/Educational_Area5993

Im about to start a new job after my first didn't go so well. My boss didn't like me, it stressed me out. The dynamic contributed to dumb mistakes and this became a compounding cyclic process. By the end, I couldn't train in front of techs who I had a healthier relationship with.

There is a possibility I dont have the aptitude for the feild, but I feel like i dont even have the opportunity to see becuase the proformance anxiety is just paralyzing me. I am generally a confident person with a bit of anxiety. I take a beta blocker which helps but what other things have people done to overcome proformance anxiety in this feild? Additionally, should I be upfront with my coworkers about this or just try to pretend it doesn't exist?

So I completed one semester of a certification cource in one lab. My coordinator believed they had an ethical duty to convince me that I was not cut out for this feild and to quit. I will own up to the fact that I did make some mistakes and I wasn't a perfect employee, but a lot of what they did felt personal

They only allowed me to participate in data entry and insisted that I was unable to train anywhere else in the lab (dispite agreeing to teach me cutting and embedding, since they were the only program requirements aside from staining).

Other techs in the lab snuck me on equipment to give some some experience embedding but I had never cut (even blank paraffin blocks). The last assignment of the semester was six slides. Dispite only having about 2 total hours on a microtome in my life, I was able to produce them with a few artifacts. My coordinator basically only let me come into the lab within the last two days they would be accepted. It was very clear she was trying to make me flunk out. I ended up with a B in the class over it, since my slides weren't great.

I am now starting at a new place, since stuff managed to get even worse at the original lab. I am genuinely terrified to start my new internship. I have developed a lot of proformance anxiety and doubt, as the only boss I have ever had has drilled into my head that I am not capable of doing this.

I just got my program practicum requirements for this semester and I am now even more nervous. It is a compressed summer semester so assignments have super short windows.

Within a week of moving there (across the US), I need to be able to cut multiple artifact free slides every week. In addition to preforming new special stains. Having entry level microtomy skills is required for a passing grade for all of these assignments.

I did save the lectures from this semester before I withdrew from the spring one, so I've tried to get a head start on the material. Im hoping to at least have a conceptual understanding of whats happening. However, I haven't embedded or cut anything in 6 months. How do I get my cutting up to par with so little practice? Also, how do I explain all of this to my new coworkers without seeming like a total loser who blames everyone else for their shortcomings.