Hi everyone,
I'm working on my very first novel, a fantasy book. I have decent world-building, some story drafts, and I'm in the early stages of outlining. I've always wanted to create something, and writing this feels important for me both creatively and personally. The problem is, I'm completely stuck on the main character and it's blocking all my progress.
I'm seriously considering giving my MC a backstory inspired by my own life: a mother with a mysterious, long-term illness that's left her disabled (doctors still aren't sure what it is after 20+ years), an absent father, and a turbulent (sometimes abusive) relationship with my grandmother, who has been the main provider and caregiver. I'm back living with them after university, and the whole situation feels heavy right now. Writing about this could be really therapeutic and help me explore themes of responsibility, fear, sadness, love, and complicated family bonds. Things I know deeply.
At the same time, I'm hesitant. My mom has always been incredibly loving and supportive despite everything, and I worry she (or other family) might read the book one day and feel hurt by seeing the illness and its impact portrayed as a source of suffering for the protagonist. I'm also not sure how comfortable I am putting such personal pain out there, even in fiction.
I've thought about splitting different parts of myself across multiple characters instead of loading everything onto the MC (one who struggles with responsibility, another with fear of loss/death, etc.).
My questions:
Have any of you used deeply personal/family trauma in your fiction, especially for a first novel? How did it feel, and did your family read it?
Is it better for a beginner to write what you know this intimately, or should I create more distance to avoid getting paralyzed?
Any advice on how to fictionalize this material respectfully while still being honest and emotionally true?
Or tips on separating "me" from the character while still drawing inspiration?
I'm looking for practical advice from people who have been through the writing process. This block is really stopping me from moving forward, and I just want to start writing the damn book.
Thanks in advance for any thoughts!!