u/Ecyrb_Writes

You elate!
Joy Floods!
I can't wait! 
Gorgeous like rose buds!

A tree on a hill
For 10 years
Couldn’t stay still
Happiness ends in tears

As I peer up to where we were supposed to meet my heart and the basket drop. There's blood everywhere, the petals were supposed to be pink not red. I lunge to you the tears I had from joy turn to those of fear. Why are you bleeding? Why are you cold? Why won’t you answer me? I look around in a frenzy, looking for who did this, looking for a way to fix this. Why did this happen! Blood stains my hands and your loss stains my heart.

Waiting…
Knife
Night
Alley 
Hiding 

Strolling…
Jewelry
Night 
Alley
Bleeding 

Laughing 

Death.

God, why have you made me this way? The thoughts I have are destructive to myself and others yet all I can do about it is endure alone. I think of harming others and taking what they have. I want nothing more than to see others fall and myself look down upon their meaningless faces. I see myself as a king at the top, by your side, and everyone else bowing before me. These thoughts of mine are sacrilege, I know, yet they persist. It is through the strength you give me that I don’t act on these urges, but even I am approaching my limit. The perseverance you have given me is my only strength, and yet it is my greatest struggle. I often wake up in the mornings in despair, for I must greet another sickening day. You have given me much good, but the wickedness you have laid out for me is far too great a burden. I want to meet you now, my God, I want my rotting body to fail me so I may see you in all your glory. Foolishly, I continue on; for meeting you before my time does come would be a cruel thing, and I do not wish to see you full of sorrow. I will continue living on with the darkness in my head and you in my heart but I fear that soon the darkness will take over your light.

I look at others in envy, I must admit, and feel more sorrow than I ever have before. Have you blessed them more than me? Do you have a favorite child? Have you planned my life for me? What reason would you bring me into this world just to question you or resent the life you have given me? I know one day you answer me; these questions and doubts that have eaten me alive and your goodness will ease me. I simply must know when will those who cause the good to suffer receive penance, my Lord? I have seen countless atrocities on a screen and mere feet away from me. These crimes to you are done by those you have given breath to, and yet they look down on my meaningless face from their golden thrones while I sleep on hardwood floors. This is unfair, my God, it is not my desire to doubt you, but even you must see why I am fed up with this! I ache and stress day in and day out on how to be better for you and those around me, and fail time and time again, but the heathens that murder, rape, and steal live lavishly. I have no plans to do those things, I try to be good by my neighbor and those I cherish but even your most devout follower fails, don't they? I know you can hear me my lord, I know you will save me when the time is right. I rest my weary knees every night to pray to you and as a way to beg for a reason, any reason. If there isn’t a reason then I fear you are simply letting me struggle for nothing. There must be a reason my God, please tell me there is or we will be meeting sooner than you planned.

God, why have you made me this way? The thoughts I have are destructive to myself and others yet all I can do about it is endure alone. I think of harming others and taking what they have. I want nothing more than to see others fall and myself look down upon their meaningless faces. I see myself as a king at the top, by your side, and everyone else bowing before me. These thoughts of mine are sacrilege, I know, yet they persist. It is through the strength you give me that I don’t act on these urges, but even I am approaching my limit. The perseverance you have given me is my only strength, and yet it is my greatest struggle. I often wake up in the mornings in despair, for I must greet another sickening day. You have given me much good, but the wickedness you have laid out for me is far too great a burden. I want to meet you now, my God, I want my rotting body to fail me so I may see you in all your glory. Foolishly, I continue on; for meeting you before my time does come would be a cruel thing, and I do not wish to see you full of sorrow. I will continue living on with the darkness in my head and you in my heart but I fear that soon the darkness will take over your light.

I look at others in envy, I must admit, and feel more sorrow than I ever have before. Have you blessed them more than me? Do you have a favorite child? Have you planned my life for me? What reason would you bring me into this world just to question you or resent the life you have given me? I know one day you answer me; these questions and doubts that have eaten me alive and your goodness will ease me. I simply must know when will those who cause the good to suffer receive penance, my Lord? I have seen countless atrocities on a screen and mere feet away from me. These crimes to you are done by those you have given breath to, and yet they look down on my meaningless face from their golden thrones while I sleep on hardwood floors. This is unfair, my God, it is not my desire to doubt you, but even you must see why I am fed up with this! I ache and stress day in and day out on how to be better for you and those around me, and fail time and time again, but the heathens that murder, rape, and steal live lavishly. I have no plans to do those things, I try to be good by my neighbor and those I cherish but even your most devout follower fails, don't they? I know you can hear me my lord, I know you will save me when the time is right. I rest my weary knees every night to pray to you and as a way to beg for a reason, any reason. If there isn’t a reason then I fear you are simply letting me struggle for nothing. There must be a reason my God, please tell me there is or we will be meeting sooner than you planned.

Waiting…
Knife
Night
Alley 
Hiding 

Strolling…
Jewelry
Night 
Alley
Bleeding 

Laughing 

Death.

He’s covered in it. He tastes it. Where does he start and the filth begin? Down in the hole long enough to wonder if there even is an outside, he’s drowning in the mud and in sorrow. Freedom lies at the top of the pit, but his fingers have been filed down to the bone. If only he could hold onto the stones that protrude or the roots coming from the walls, but the slick mud stops him every time. With a breath, he stands, marks another failed attempt in the ooze, and tries again… this is his last attempt.

He’s covered in it. He tastes it. Where does he start and the filth begin? Down in the hole long enough to wonder if there even is an outside, he’s drowning in the mud and in sorrow. Freedom lies at the top of the pit, but his fingers have been filed down to the bone. If only he could hold onto the stones that protrude or the roots coming from the walls, but the slick mud stops him every time. With a breath, he stands, marks another failed attempt in the ooze, and tries again… this is his last attempt.

Blood drips from his nose and off my fist. 

He doesn’t get back up once the match is called.