I (24M) have spent my adult life viewing dating and intimacy as a "chase." My approach has always been purely physical; once I feel the "challenge" is over, I tend to lose interest and look for something new. I’ve prided myself on being emotionally unavailable because it kept things simple.
The Current Conflict: This mindset has led me to a destructive place. I recently crossed a line and hooked up with my best friend’s girlfriend (24F). While I am naturally detached, she is now looking for emotional processing and a "talk" about our feelings. This situation has been a wake-up call. I realized that my inability to feel guilt or connection isn't a "strength" it’s a barrier that is hurting people I should care about.
I want to stop this cycle. I want to actually seek love and build a real connection, but I don’t know how to stop the "chase" instinct that has governed my life for years. I don't want to be this person anymore.
Specific Question: For those who have struggled with extreme emotional unavailability and "the chase" mentality, what specific steps can I take to start valuing emotional intimacy over physical conquest? How do I reprogram my approach to dating so I can actually seek a meaningful relationship?