Self Improvement is leading me nowhere
Over the past few years, I’ve been trying to improve my life in a number of areas. I’ve started eating healthier, I quit smoking weed, and I even did improv for a short while in an attempt to work on my social anxiety. Most days, it feels like I’m trying to move heaven and earth in an attempt to become a better version of myself, and yet after all this time, it seems like I still haven’t gotten anywhere.
A little background information on me… I‘ve been living alone in a major US city for the past 6 years, in which I haven’t made a single lasting friendship, let alone a romantic relationship. I’m 30 years old and while I have a job, it’s a dead end situation and I can’t see any other prospects at the moment.
I’ve tried different hobbies to meet people and learn new skills. These include Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Group Piano Classes, and Improv as mentioned above. I go to the gym regularly and read nightly. I also go to therapy weekly.
I try new things and yet I always come up with the same result. People continually treat me like I am stupid and awkward especially at work where my coworkers seem surprised that I am able to do the most basic life tasks.
It hurts and at this point I am not really sure what else I can do differently. I’m tired of being alone all the time and I’m tired of people seeing me as incompetent.