I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 15. Back then I was around 125 lbs, and now I’m 20, in my first year of college, and we live together. I weigh about 145–150 now, so yeah, I’ve gained some weight over the years but I also grew up. My body changed like most people’s do.
Lately, though, things feel really off between us. He’s barely intimate with me anymore. The only times he shows any kind of physical affection or interest is when he’s drunk or high, which honestly makes me feel worse, not better. And it honestly started once we moved in to our own place (we were living together with my parents before and our sex life was just fine)
I finally asked him straight up if he still finds me attractive, and his response was basically, “well… you’ve gained some weight.” That already hurt, but then today something else happened that really stuck with me. I was in the shower, bent over to scrub my legs, and he pointed out that it was “obvious” I have a stomach.
I don’t know… that just crushed me. It made me feel so self-conscious in my own body, like I’m being watched and judged even in the most normal moments. I can’t tell if I’m overreacting, but it’s starting to affect how I see myself and how comfortable I feel around him.
Though after he did say i’m still attractive and beautiful i just need “a little work. that i’m just over the hill”
Has anyone else gone through something like this? I’m really stuck between wondering if this is something we can work through, or if this is just a bigger red flag I’ve been ignoring.
Edit- a small detail i wanted to add. Since we started dating iv always been bigger than him but he lied about his weight according to him to make me feel better. he is currently 5ft10 (around there) and 145 pounds. and when we started dating he was 5ft6 and 110 pounds.