CPS case involving my father & siblings, next steps & advice; eldest adult daughter
Hi, this might be very long and I apologize in advance.
I'm just seeking some support and maybe guidance.
I'm 21F and am in college, I have 3 younger siblings, 2 of which still live at home (17M & 14F). My father definitely has some narcissistic traits, though I hesitate to label him as one because I guess deep down I still just don't want to admit it. He's been nicer to me since I've moved away, and helps me financially with rent and things like that. He is extremely religious and that is essentially his whole personality, and I am not, and I am gay. I was outed in high school because he read my phone messages, he doesn't support it but again since I've moved he hasn't cut me off or anything.
He is a lot meaner to my siblings, particularly my brother. There have been cases where he has physically harmed my brother. My siblings are scared of him. He's emotionally volatile, easily angered, and just mean and critical about everything. He is also very controlling - he won't let my sister get a phone, he won't let my brother learn how to drive, etc.
My little sister has a therapist now because she tried to commit, my dad would not have allowed her to see one if that didn't happen. She informed the therapist of an instance where my dad hurt my brother. The therapist reported it, and now there is a CPS case. They called my dad and he got extremely angry, my siblings sent videos of him yelling at them telling my sister there would be consequences & he won't let them take them away. They are both very scared to be honest once the workers visit, but they want to be honest. My sister has documented photos and videos of his physical and verbal abuse.
My mom lives in town but is pretty unstable financially and mentally. She suffered a lot of verbal and physical abuse from him and is struggling now, but doing her best. I'm so worried about what will happen. My siblings don't particularly want to live with my mom (she parentifies the hell out of them, again unstable regarding general resources and has substance use disorder). My brother will be 18 in a week - he planned to leave anyway. So the main concern is my little sister. What if the CPS case results in nothing, and my sister stays with my dad, and he continues to exert control over her (he has never harmed my sister physically, just my brother). She is severely depressed in that house and again has already tried to commit. A failed cps case could send her down a worse spiral, making her feel helpless and powerless. What if it works? Where would my sister go? It is horrible to say but I think it would be a little better for her to stay w my dad over my mom if not for the sense of financial stability and structure my dad can provide. Maybe foster care is an option, I don't know. I know cps would want to help, but my dad is not an agreeable person. He got a little more empathetic and I saw change after my sister tried to commit, and he has changed his tune with me completely - I guess that's what makes it so confusing too. I just don't know. I was supposed to go home on Sunday; should I even go home anymore?? I'm scared for my siblings and I'm scared for myself and I'm even scared for my dad! Part of me feels so bad for him because I know he must be terrified, but this is a direct result of his actions. He hasn't really faced any consequences until now. Idk. I called cps myself to give them more context because I didn't know what else to do. I know ultimately I don't have any real control over this situation and I guess that's what scares me the most. It's shaking up my whole world. Any guidance or support would be helpful.