Advice sought due to bad Healing ministry experience
Hello, I am a sort of newcomer to TEC: baptized as infant and raised irreligious, beginning/returning at 25, due to impairing illness and big life changes, been attending since February. I just had a pretty strange, uncomfortable experience with a "healing ministry" person today that does not seem to line up with our beliefs (and deigns to be offensive) and looking for advice on how to approach this.
Essentially, today I asked my rector and deacon for help managing and their awareness of me during liturgy because of experiencing nerve issues and numbness, I am afraid of dropping bcp in liturgy etc. I asked if they could help me connect with friendly folks there and just get involved somehow to help my situation. It was recommended to me to meet with "healing ministry" person who could help me feel a little more at peace with my situation.
During this meeting with healing minstry person, they laid hands upon me, claimed to be able to (and presented as if they were) speaking in tongues. Specifically, they prayed "that any curses laid upon [me] or previous generations be removed," and that I "be freed from sin and forgiveness in order to be healed." No one told me this was to happen, just that this person could help orient my prayer life.
This is alarming and concerning to me, and I feel the real need to ask my rector and deacon precisely what occurred and get an explanation. I have long held my beliefs but just now have begun a faith journey with others and have never once thought of these kinds of gifts or considered their presence in our shared faith.
I am specifically quite frightened given that John 9:1-12 has been explained to me in general terms that human illness IS NOT anyone's fault, and someone praying that something I or others have done is to blame for a heritable incurable illness is hurtful. I also have done some heavy literary work with some disability theology texts in a BA-setting and find this claim or idea that my illness is a result of a curse or my sin really hard to swallow given scripture (and also this parish's kind welcome of me thus far). Am I just plain wrong?
What would you do with this situation? I do not know enough to form an opinion on this other than it felt wrong. Am I missing some big Episcopalian memo on gifts like this? How would I ask for clarification on this? Is there a constructive way to ask for scriptural explanation and/or communicate that I am at odds with what was said? This church has been exceedingly welcoming to me and stated all are welcome, so I want to ascertain if this is the whole parish's view on disability and illness or one person, and if they know that this one moment does not feel like it lines up.
Thank you all in advance for your advice and thoughts on this