u/Dysphoric_Otter

I hope this letter finds a place to land,

even if it’s just in memory,

or in the silence between us

that always felt louder than words.

You built your life out of hard work and expectation.

I tried to follow.

But some roads weren’t built for me,

no matter how hard I walked them.

I know I disappointed you.

I could see it in the way your eyes dimmed

when you thought I wasn’t looking.

In the questions you didn’t ask

because you already knew the answers

wouldn’t make you proud.

But I tried,

God, I tried.

Even when my hands shook.

Even when the world felt like it was folding in on itself.

Even when I didn’t believe in myself,

I tried to be something better.

You gave me your fire.

I didn’t know how to hold it.

I burned a lot of bridges

just trying to stay warm.

And I know now

that strength isn’t loud,

it’s quiet and steady, like you were.

I wasn’t quiet.

I wasn’t steady.

But I never stopped wanting

to be the kind of man you’d nod at.

Not smile—just nod.

That would’ve meant the world.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be

everything you hoped for.

I’m sorry I took so long

to understand what love looked like

from a man who didn’t say it out loud

but built it into every corner of our house.