Hi everyone, I really need advice because I feel like I’m suffocating in a situation I helped create. A month ago, I met a guy (30M) on OmeTV. I wasn't looking for anything, but he was persistent and I eventually gave him my Instagram. Since I don't get much attention usually, I was surprised he actually messaged me.
Everything moved at lightning speed. Within five days he confessed his feelings, and within a week we were talking about marriage. To be honest, it’s my fault it went this far, I went along with it. We clicked so well that I got caught up in the excitement and talked about a future right back with him.
But now that the initial haze is clearing, I realize I’ve made a huge mistake. The more we talk, the more I feel a pit in my stomach. I’ve saved myself my whole life for religious reasons; I’ve never even held hands with a guy. He recently told me he’s had sex before. I know he’s 30 and it’s "normal," but something inside me just died.
I realized I deeply need a partner who shared that journey with me. On top of that, he thinks watching porn in a relationship is fine, which is a hard dealbreaker for me. Even our political views are worlds apart. Despite these gaps, he is now completely obsessed. He responds instantly and is pushing to buy plane tickets and book hotels to come see me. He wants to pay for everything and handle it all.
Despite our differences, we click incredibly well. He’s the sweetest, most sensitive gentleman I’ve ever met, and he constantly calls me the "female version" of himself because our future goals align so perfectly. But even though we match on paper, the deep gaps in our core values have left me feeling completely empty inside.
I feel an immense pressure and I’m honestly unhappy. I feel like an absolute asshole because I was just as enthusiastic at first, and now I feel like I’m pulling the rug out from under him. I’m terrified of "destroying" him because he’s so certain about me, but his intense messages just make me feel more guilty.
How do I end this when I’m the one who agreed to move this fast in the first place? How do I tell this incredibly sensitive guy that I’ve changed my mind because these differences are just too deep?
TL;DR: Met a guy (30M) online a month ago. We moved way too fast (talked marriage in week 1) and I (24F) initially went along with it. He’s incredibly sweet and thinks I’m his soulmate, but I’ve realized our values regarding religion, intimacy (I’m a virgin, he isn't), and lifestyle (porn/politics) are incompatible. Now I feel trapped and guilty as he’s trying to buy tickets to see me. How do I break it off without "destroying" him?