WARNING. AGGRESIVE, DON'T READ IF sensitive! ⚠️ (but read if you feel rage by health insurance too)
It’s designed to shut down any "normie" comments about "just having bad dreams."
## MY NIGHT TERRORS AREN'T "DREAMS"—THEY ARE A SYSTEM FAILURE
To everyone saying "it's just a nightmare" or "everyone talks in their sleep"—**STFU**. I’ve been logging my sleep with a monitor, and the data is a horror show. My nervous system is literally fighting for its life 24/7.
### THE "DATA" OF A BROKEN SYSTEM:
* **Decibel Levels:** I’m not "muttering." I am hitting **80-90 dB** (the volume of a lawnmower or a shout in your ear) screaming "I’M NOT FAKING!" and "DON'T IGNORE ME!"
* **Physical Violence:** I wake up hitting walls, shaking, with my blood pressure spiking to **165/68** at 6:00 AM. My body thinks it's in a life-or-death battle while I’m just trying to "rest."
* **Fibro-Dreaming:** My **Fibromyalgia** is so bad it bleeds into my dreams. I dream about being unable to walk, moaning in pain, and I wake up feeling like I was hit by a truck. There is **ZERO** regeneration.
### THE SOMATIC RECKONING (ARFID & SCHOOL TRAUMA):
My brain has associated "School" and "Adults/Doctors" with pure danger.
* **The Vomit Reflex:** After a night of screaming, my body enters such a high state of stress that I had **15 gagging/vomiting reflexes** in one morning.
* **Sensory Shutdown:** My **ARFID** isn't a "choice." I literally couldn't eat for 6 hours because my nervous system was so fried from the night terror that my throat closed up. I only managed to eat a vanilla ice cream because it was the only thing that didn't feel like a threat.
### MEDICAL GASLIGHTING IN MY HEAD:
Even my dreams are mocking the shitty "specialists" I’ve seen. I dream about:
People telling me to "just go to the gym" or "put the phone away" to fix my sleep.
Doctors telling me "I look healthy" while I’m literally breaking my own hands in the dream trying to fight off bullies.
Being accused of self-harm when I’m actually in physical agony from **Allodynia**.
> **"I am a financial and energetic bankrupt by the time I open my eyes."**
>
I’ve spent 15 years being told I'm "too complicated" or "too active for Autism/too weird for ADHD." While the doctors argue over which box to put me in, I’m losing weight, losing sleep, and losing my mind because my brain refuses to "filter" the trauma.
**Don't tell me to "get used to it." You wouldn't survive one hour in my nervous system.**