I went back to work at 4 months post partum, and I’m now 5 months post partum. I had conflicting feelings about being back at work, but after a week or so i felt really good! It felt nice to be around adults, and i realized being a temporary sahm made me incredibly anxious. I’ve always been a workaholic to an extent, but the last bit of my pregnancy was rough and i wasn’t achieving what i wanted to. I did get a 20% raise right before going on mat leave, but i did not get a promotion. so, i know im preforming well enough, but i want to meet my goals as well by getting a promotion.
Now that i’ve been back for a month, im feeling increasingly disconnected. My boss works in an office 30 minutes away, and i only see her once every few weeks. We don’t have 1 on 1s on the calendar anymore. While i was out, they were trying to hire an additional 2 people, and then my coworker quit out of the blue. There were 2 people working my whole maternity leave, plus my boss and her boss. They are all stretched incredibly thin right now, so i’m trying to give them grace. But it honestly hurts my feelings that no one has the time for me. I don’t know what steps to take to advance my career. It’s rare that i get a text back from my boss.
What really twisted the knife is that my birthday was last week, and no one even said anything. No card, no treats, no balloons, no message. Other people on our sister team have gotten all of the above recently. I get that they’re busy, but they aren’t living up to our “company values.” Our company is incredibly employee focused, but my department increasingly is not.
It sucks because i have a unicorn job. I talked my way into this position (it’s in procurement). As an entry level employee I make $80k, which is great for my LCOL area. There’s nothing comparable in the area. I can’t move to a position in a comparable pay range in a different department until i’m closer to graduating with my accounting degree. That will be about 1-2 years. I’m the primary breadwinner by double, so i can’t switch to a more fulfilling job. I feel stuck, and i just needed to vent. I’ll feel better soon.