Hey everyone, 20M here
About 1.5 years ago my ex girlfriend broke up with me. Looking back, I can see that I didn't give her enough attention and emotionally I was pretty unavailable.
At the time I had a lot of academic stress, and naturally had some changes in my personality that made her understandbly upset. I was arrogant, easily irritated and pretty neglectful for a while.
We have been on no contact since then, and i spoke to other girls and had a few situations but I always ran into the same issue: No matter who I meet, I compare them to her and feel like something is missing.
What confuses me is that even when I'm talking to someone great (objectively attractive, good personality, etc..) I still feel this pull towards my ex.
It's like my mind won't let go, even though I know the relationship had problems and I wasn't even showing up properly back then.
Part of me wonders If I'm just idealizing her now that she's gone and has went complete no contact with me. We never really had any conversations about closure, she offered but my mind couldn't accept and I was petty. I ended up refusing the closure conversation, convincing myself the only closure I needed is that they don't wanna be with me anymore.
Stuck in a pattern where I only want what I can't have.
Has anyone dealt with this? How do you actually move on when your mind keeps going back to one person?