u/Duckyshark101

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"You dodged a bullet"

Nope

It whent right through me took a part of me that I didn't know existed and now I miss it abd all it leaves is a hole that causing me to bleed

So much that I fear the next person to truly see me will find me dried up with the blood all over the floor that use to hold up so many memories now it just holds the reason I'm bleeding with all these feelings

Could have at least warned me that it wasn't going to be painful at first and now the bleeding is the least of my worries as I fear the overwhelming will eventually kill me faster in some sort of drowning

So much that I can't focus on the beautiful anymore and now I just anticipate the heartache the headaches and the unwillingness to forgive myself for forgetting to participate in every day

So much that I've lost the meaning of my wellbeing

Forgive me if my readings has scared you if I'm honest they scare me to but the darkness is an old friend yet it's hard to describe how much it takes and I'm just trying to find the best way to frighten in a warning of it's power so other can find comfort in knowing the path isn't straight forward for any of us or at least especially me but I've gotten use to it so don't fret I hope comfort comes for all those who need it and I hope that one day it can repay me a visit too

​

"You dodged a bullet"

Nope

It whent right through me took a part of me that I didn't know existed and now I miss it abd all it leaves is a hole that causing me to bleed

So much that I fear the next person to truly see me will find me dried up with the blood all over the floor that use to hold up so many memories now it just holds the reason I'm bleeding with all these feelings

Could have at least warned me that it wasn't going to be painful at first and now the bleeding is the least of my worries as I fear the overwhelming will eventually kill me faster in some sort of drowning

So much that I can't focus on the beautiful anymore and now I just anticipate the heartache the headaches and the unwillingness to forgive myself for forgetting to participate in every day

So much that I've lost the meaning of my wellbeing

Forgive me if my readings has scared you if I'm honest they scare me to but the darkness is an old friend yet it's hard to describe how much it takes and I'm just trying to find the best way to frighten in a warning of it's power so other can find comfort in knowing the path isn't straight forward for any of us or at least especially me but I've gotten use to it so don't fret I hope comfort comes for all those who need it and I hope that one day it can repay me a visit too

"You dodged a bullet"

Nope

It whent right through me took a part of me that I didn't know existed and now I miss it abd all it leaves is a hole that causing me to bleed

So much that I fear the next person to truly see me will find me dried up with the blood all over the floor that use to hold up so many memories now it just holds the reason I'm bleeding with all these feelings

Could have at least warned me that it wasn't going to be painful at first and now the bleeding is the least of my worries as I fear the overwhelming will eventually kill me faster in some sort of drowning

So much that I can't focus on the beautiful anymore and now I just anticipate the heartache the headaches and the unwillingness to forgive myself for forgetting to participate in every day

So much that I've lost the meaning of my wellbeing

Forgive me if my readings has scared you if I'm honest they scare me to but the darkness is an old friend yet it's hard to describe how much it takes and I'm just trying to find the best way to frighten in a warning of it's power so other can find comfort in knowing the path isn't straight forward for any of us or at least especially me but I've gotten use to it so don't fret I hope comfort comes for all those who need it and I hope that one day it can repay me a visit too

​

I don't know what to do with my life

I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know where I'm going and everyone is telling me to do things for myself but I feel the minute I do that I'll just fall father behind

Father then I already am because I'm way behind I know there's no time line for anything but there's expectations from generation that crush me to be a sheep and I fallow what is asked of me because I don't know what I want for myself

I do as told because I have nothing better to do with my life

Do I regret doing it?

Yes

Most times I just wish not to think of how much I've messed up how far I've gone down in a hope I thought would be worth it I thought I could easily dig out of but I guess thats the gamble of life

I don't know

I've done all that's asked of me all that is suggested to me all that I can't have the courage to figure out myself yet when I ask questions and actual help that's when I have to figure it all out myself

It's like I have to play a game without tutorials yet given blind guidance from someone who's only heard of it and is also making stuff up as they go

So I guess I really can't blame anyone for this yet it hurts to much just to say this was dumb luck or even worse fate because I don't know what I'm doing whith my life but at least I can say it's unpredictable

That's way to optimistic though

​

I don't know what to do with my life

I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know where I'm going and everyone is telling me to do things for myself but I feel the minute I do that I'll just fall father behind

Father then I already am because I'm way behind I know there's no time line for anything but there's expectations from generation that crush me to be a sheep and I fallow what is asked of me because I don't know what I want for myself

I do as told because I have nothing better to do with my life

Do I regret doing it?

Yes

Most times I just wish not to think of how much I've messed up how far I've gone down in a hope I thought would be worth it I thought I could easily dig out of but I guess thats the gamble of life

I don't know

I've done all that's asked of me all that is suggested to me all that I can't have the courage to figure out myself yet when I ask questions and actual help that's when I have to figure it all out myself

It's like I have to play a game without tutorials yet given blind guidance from someone who's only heard of it and is also making stuff up as they go

So I guess I really can't blame anyone for this yet it hurts to much just to say this was dumb luck or even worse fate because I don't know what I'm doing whith my life but at least I can say it's unpredictable

That's way to optimistic though

I don't know what to do with my life

I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know where I'm going and everyone is telling me to do things for myself but I feel the minute I do that I'll just fall father behind

Father then I already am because I'm way behind I know there's no time line for anything but there's expectations from generation that crush me to be a sheep and I fallow what is asked of me because I don't know what I want for myself

I do as told because I have nothing better to do with my life

Do I regret doing it?

Yes

Most times I just wish not to think of how much I've messed up how far I've gone down in a hope I thought would be worth it I thought I could easily dig out of but I guess thats the gamble of life

I don't know

I've done all that's asked of me all that is suggested to me all that I can't have the courage to figure out myself yet when I ask questions and actual help that's when I have to figure it all out myself

It's like I have to play a game without tutorials yet given blind guidance from someone who's only heard of it and is also making stuff up as they go

So I guess I really can't blame anyone for this yet it hurts to much just to say this was dumb luck or even worse fate because I don't know what I'm doing whith my life but at least I can say it's unpredictable

That's way to optimistic though