Hi, I’m 15 and I live with my mom and sister. I’m posting here because I honestly don’t know how to deal with this situation anymore and I want outside advice
My mom is someone who works hard and provides for us, and I do recognize that. But when arguments happen, things become very intense and toxic. She says really hurtful things when she’s angry, including personal insults and very extreme statements in the heat of the moment. I don’t want to go into all the details here because it gets too heavy
Another thing she strongly believes is that what she says about my life will “happen” to me or shape my future, and that she has a kind of authority over how my life turns out because she is my parent. That’s part of the dynamic during arguments
At the same time, I also react badly. I don’t stay calm I respond with hurtful things too, and I escalate the situation instead of calming it down. After everything, I always regret how I respond, but in the moment I feel like I need to defend myself
My sister sometimes gets involved in arguments too, which makes it harder for me to stay calm or walk away.
Another important part of my situation is that I don’t have a father figure in my life. I don’t really know my dad. The reason for that is connected to religious and family circumstances in my household, and it has affected our family structure for a long time.
I’ve tried ignoring arguments or walking away, but it’s difficult because I still hear things being said and I end up reacting again. It feels like a cycle I can’t break
I don’t like how I behave during these moments, and I don’t like how the situation keeps escalating. I want to change how I respond, even if I can’t control what others say
So I guess I want to ask
How do you deal with a parent who says very hurtful things during arguments?
Is walking away and staying silent actually the best option in situations like this?
I’m not trying to paint myself as the victim here. I know I contribute to the problem too. I just want to find a way to break this cycle because it’s really affecting me
Any advice would really help