Hello, I apologize if this isn't the sub for this kind of post but I'm a little desperate and not sure where else to go.
I (22F) am contemplating getting surgery this upcoming December and I have a few questions/am in need of some advice. To give some background, when I was very young (like 4 or 5 so I don't remember it, this is just what my mom has told me) my pediatrician (Dr. 1) noticed the slight curve in my lower back due to a misshapen vertebrae. However, he chose to not do much about it and simply made a note of it and took some x rays. I was in gymnastics throughout my entire childhood (10 years of gymnastics and 7 years of competitive cheerleading) and it wasn't until I entered middle school that we switched doctors (Dr 2). Dr. 2 said it was getting increasingly worse with my lower curve at 45 and upper curve at 17 degrees. Dr. 2 was also confused and concerned as to why Dr. 1 didn't do anything about it while I was young. I was then put in a brace for 3 years and only allowed to take it off for gymnastics and showering. After that we ended up moving/switching drs again, and my new doctor (Dr. 3) said the brace wasn't necessary anymore, but considering I was still experiencing pain, I *may* need to cut back on the acrobatic sports. Being the stubborn teenager that I was, I chose to ignore that advice completely and continued doing competitive cheer. Once I entered college, I switched Drs again (surprise!) and was now told that I shouldn't have been in gymnastics or cheer to begin with, and I should've stayed in my brace until I was nearly out of highschool. He then suggested I should look into surgery since I'm old enough to be done growing, and young enough to have a good recovery.
Currently I am 22 and have a 53 degree curve in my lower back and a 21 degree curve in my upper back. Throughout my journey I have consistently experienced the classic symptoms of pain in my lower back, not being able to sit for more than an hour at a time (road trips are hell omg), and now I feel like the pain is getting worse now that I'm a bit older. I recently have started to feel what I can only describe as my back ever so slightly giving out at the end of a long day. For example, I will be getting ready for bed and my lower left side (where my main curve is) will start to twitch, then tense up really bad until I sit or lay down.
I have always known surgery was an option but I have been super hesitant about it. My mom wants me to get it, but my dad is super scared and keeps telling me that there's a chance I'll end up paralyzed. It also hasn't helped that I've seen so many different Drs and they all have told me different things. It's super frustrating to also know that if Dr. 1 had done more preventative measures or if Dr. 3 told me to stay in my brace or told me directly to quit gymnastics/cheer, my curve might not be this bad. I'm really confused, scared, in pain, and I don't know what to do or what to believe. I am still able to walk, run, and workout so it's also not like I am completely immobile due to the scoliosis and am not sure if my symptoms even warrant surgery.
I would also be lying if I said I wasn't scared out of my mind of the surgery itself. I have very bad anxiety, and I have recently hit some what of a quarter life crisis where I'm constantly thinking about how I am not going to be young for forever, and I only have so much time in my twenties. I'm very scared that if the surgery goes wrong or if it takes me a while to recover, I will miss out on my twenties, or it will set me back in my career.
I know most people here can't give actual medical advice, but I feel like everyone in my life so far has told me wildly different things without actually ever having to deal with the condition, and I just don't know what to do. That said, if anyone has a similar experience, whether it be getting surgery at a young age, having to deal with multiple Drs, or getting misinformed, I would love to hear about it and how surgery has or hasn't had a positive impact on your life.
Thank you guys so much and I wish each and every one of you well!!!
TLDR: I've been given conflicting info about my scoliosis throughout my life and am scared of getting surgery at a young age, and am looking for people's advice/experience.