So recently I dont know whats happening to me. Everything seems like its going wrong. I used to be such a good muslim. However, my imaan is at an all time low. I stopped caring about Islam or praying or doing good. It feels like God is against me and everything is going wrong for no reason. Im so confused cos I loved God and did good upon good and repented often but i feel like he doesn’t love me back and its shown. Ive suffered with bad bad mental health and its gotten worse even tho I prayed for months for Gods help. If God really loved me wouldnt he help me and I know you might think its a “test” but it could last max a few months to a year to see how I would react and test done. Now it feels like torture so why would God want this for me even tho I cried to him late nights asking for help. When I do try get professional help it feels like I cant, it feels like doors closing. I genuinely think Im cursed, I keep finding hair in my food almost every meal too. I’m also so unsuccessful in everything i do. Its been years Ive prayed and my duas havent come true. I tried everything: donating more, istighfar more Salam upon Prophet pbuh calling upon certain names, tahajjud. Literally nothing works. Then people say trust God but when i do it tells like he breaks it. I have thoughts that are bad about Islam due to my issues and literally on the verge of leaving which is crazy cos i recently went umrah and was basically the most islamic in my family. What happened to me out of nowhere i don’t know i’m just so confused i don’t know what to do or what God wants from me. please help am i cursed
u/Dry_Illustrator_5382
So recently I dont know whats happening to me. Everything seems like its going wrong. I used to be such a good muslim. However, my imaan is at an all time low. I stopped caring about Islam or praying or doing good. It feels like God is against me and everything is going wrong for no reason. Im so confused cos I loved God and did good upon good and repented often but i feel like he doesn’t love me back and its shown. Ive suffered with bad bad mental health and its gotten worse even tho I prayed for months for Gods help. If God really loved me wouldnt he help me and I know you might think its a “test” but it could last max a few months to a year to see how I would react and test done. Now it feels like torture so why would God want this for me even tho I cried to him late nights asking for help. When I do try get professional help it feels like I cant, it feels like doors closing. I genuinely think Im cursed, I keep finding hair in my food almost every meal too. I’m also so unsuccessful in everything i do. Its been years Ive prayed and my duas havent come true. I tried everything: donating more, istighfar more Salam upon Prophet pbuh calling upon certain names, tahajjud. Literally nothing works. Then people say trust God but when i do it tells like he breaks it. I have thoughts that are bad about Islam due to my issues and literally on the verge of leaving which is crazy cos i recently went umrah and was basically the most islamic in my family. What happened to me out of nowhere i don’t know i’m just so confused i don’t know what to do or what God wants from me. please help