deconstruction & purity culture
Hi everyone! Here’s my background in short- raised Catholic in New England and became nondenominational Christian/Protestant in early high school. I became very involved with a Baptist church and later attended a very large evangelical college. I have really not liked the experiences I’ve had with many other Christians. I also dislike the blind allegiance of many Christians to MAGA politics. There are many aspects of Christianity I am questioning, although I still consider myself a Christian and do love God. One of the biggest things I am trying to focus on is how purity culture has shaped my current view of an experience of my own sexuality, especially as a girl. The beliefs that sex, especially for a woman, is a disservice to one’s future spouse or that sex is a negative, serious, structured experience are deeply entrenched in my mind.
After a couple of relationships where sex was more of a negative experience than a positive one due to shame, guilt, and other results of purity culture, I’m now single and in a place of examining my own sexual ethic and reclaiming my sexuality. I have had a “friends with benefits” situation going on and have done everything with him but fully have sex. I am very open to allowing this to be a positive sexual experience to begin to heal from the prior experiences I’ve had. However, I’m afraid of the guilt that is so internalized at this point that I know will follow. I would greatly appreciate any resources people may have about exploring sexuality as a Christian, reclaiming sex after negative experiences, healing from purity culture, or anything related!