Rookie firefighter struggling to “turn it off”
Not sure if this is even allowed, and I thought a lot about not even posting it due to seeming weak or like I’m not cut out for the service.
There is no one who’s seen it all, but as a rookie firefighter only being on 4 months I’ve seen a tiny sliver of a lot. I feel like I’m handling the calls well, both on scene and processing the more traumatic ones during and after. That’s not what’s bothering me.
I’m having trouble turning off the alertness and general anxiety of my nervous system being on high for 24 hours straight. I’m fortunate enough to not have to work a second job, so as soon as I’m off shift I’m with my kids and wife as soon as she’s off work. We have great days, there’s not a second wasted or any type of backlash on them from my shift. My kids and my wife are the center of my world and I’d step away from this profession in a heartbeat if I couldn’t be a great husband and provider for them off shift. For the whole first day off shift I just feel more tense, alert, and like I can’t be fully myself as a chill, go with the flow guy that I am. I have to wait for everything to calm down first.
I eat good, I exercise regularly, no nicotine or caffeine and I don’t want to turn to alcohol to bring me back down to level ground.
Has anyone else experienced this? Does it go away with time? I’d love to talk to a few people, maybe find some new friends in the service, and get advice on what helps and what doesn’t.
If you’ve made it this far thank you, this is the best profession in the entire world. I don’t regret it for a second.