u/Dry_Appearance2210

Heyy this is going to be a long rant. I’m in my thirties and went through a painful divorce. He love bombed me so bad and I gave my soul and life to that relationship only for him to turn in to narcissist. I had no money with me and lost all my identity and i was shrinking so much just to keep the marriage. Then he started getting abusive and started bringing women into our apartment that’s when i filed for a divorce. He then said he would file a mutual settlement divorce only if i give him half my assets or he would abscond out of country if i file a criminal case, i had no choice and gave in and got separated legally. I was so torn and devastated and my mental health went way down. It took me three years to rebuild myself. A friend was seeing all my progress and he offered a comforting shoulder after two years to realise that he is just another predator masquerading as a naive guy. He had two gfs at the same time and i was his hidden gf. It devastated me so bad i find it difficult to interact with men anymore. I really want to get in to a stable healthy relationship but i don’t know where to look. I’m so scared of even having a crush on someone. I’m not in any dating apps because of all the horror stories surrounding them. I can’t do any casual relationship and apparently I don’t know where are the girls people looking for genuine relationships. I get really sad when i go for weddings everyone out there is having their partner and kids and I feel like that dream is ripped off from me. I’m super family oriented but the people i dated and married were not. So what should i do ? And i don’t know how to date as a 30+ woman in kochi? I’m conventionally pretty and people say I’m pretty all the time but I feel like they don’t want to get to know me as a person or my intellect or my soul. That was a long rant. Whew 😰