I work at a residential rehab program.
I have a coworker I’ll call M. M started a month after me. I really had no opinion of him for the longest time, just gave shift exchange during the change of shift, said hi how are ya when he came on. I didn’t dislike him, but I didn’t like him. M was just another coworker I was professional with during our exchange at work.
After a couple months he asked where a certain room was, I said K hasn’t shown you? K is the other person who worked the same shift as M and has been with the organization for a few years and is great at her job. Anyways, M said K had not shown him the room. I showed him the room, and he said he didn’t have a key for it. I said to ask our supervisor for a key.
A few days later I asked K about it. I was confused because there’s no way K wouldn’t have shown M, especially since they had to go in that room multiple times a night since M started. K said she did, and I believed her. I told her she should let our supervisor know.
Fast forward, supervisor found on the cameras M has been in that room multiple times as I said above & does have a key. Weird but okay then.
M started acting weird, and K started coming to work depressed and stressed out. M keeps telling supervisor that K is not training him. Supervisor does not believe this so she has K train him again, and sign off on trainings so there’s proof it was done.
During client inventory, M was writing it on lined paper. He was told it needs to be typed on the inventory paper. He’s mad about it and “doesn’t understand why he can’t write it”. So he writes it on the inventory paper. He was told again it needs to be typed on lined paper. This was 5 months ago, he’s still illegibly writing it on the inventory paper.
When I had to work with him he was bitching about the technology we have to use. We use email, excel, and a special program that all we have to do is write simple notes on, nothing crazy. And our excel sheet is already formatted, all that needs to be done is adding and deleting names. I said well if you hate technology so much why did you apply because it says we have to be proficient in our specific tech use on the job description. M tells me straight up he did NOT read the job description, he assumed the job would be exactly the same as it was 16 years ago when he worked here, which was just sitting in the office.
I talked to K about this and she said he told her the same thing too. And that M tells K about how M’s adult son is a convicted molester but shouldn’t be because he’s autistic. And that M cries when talking about it. I said that’s inappropriate work talk. K agreed and had reported it already to our supervisor.
So now I’m looking at this guy really weird. K disclosed to us that M refuses to do his job. He has all these reasons as to why he can’t do his job. He has a hand problem so he can’t put gloves on to prepare breakfast. He says he is undiagnosed autistic so he can’t remember things or use the computer and says it will take him a year to learn how to do his job. He calls IT every night and has them take over his computer and do his work for him. He’s always calling someone else saying what’s going on at work and says his son and son’s caseworker are aware of what goes on here. He took a client to a non-client zone. Says he’s been fired from every job he’s worked. Refuses to send email shift notes in the proper format, doesn’t even make sense what he’s sending. He calls our grown men clients “boys”. They’re men, adult men, not children.
He keeps getting progressively worse. He keeps telling K about all of his personal problems and she’s uncomfortable. He goes to HR and says she ignores him all night. K tells HR that she only speaks to him about work related things. HR says that is okay and closes out the case.
He leaves pee on the toilet seat. I got tired of cleaning up a grown man’s piss so I put a sign up saying to please wipe the pee off the seat. He goes to HR about it. I tell HR I wrote the note because it’s fucking gross. I’ve dribbled on the toilet seat before by accident but I cleaned it up because it’s my responsibility. HR doesn’t have anything to say and closes out the case.
Most recently K put in her two weeks because of M. It was so sad. Everyone knew why. One night K had to call supervisor bc M was refusing to complete a task that requires two people per the state.
K’s last night we were chatting at shift exchange. M was there. Another coworker was there. I told K I understand why she’s leaving (because the org is falling apart and we have lost 20 staff in 8 months). M made himself apart of our conversation and started screaming at us. I stood between K & M and told M he is NOT going to yell at K like that, she has done nothing wrong and does not deserve to be yelled at. M said to K “I asked you if I’m the reason you’re leaving and you said yes” K says YOU’RE THE MAIN REASON.
He calls us girls, I correct him and say we’re grown women. He call supervisor and is screaming at her within ear shot of clients. Supervisor says he’s not allowed to call her unless she’s on call or there’s an emergency. M calls his friend and is bitching about us. He said I never ask him about his son. I said truthfully I don’t care, we all have shit going on outside of work but when we’re here our focus is the people we serve. K said talking about personal lives is not part of the job requirement. I said you’d know this if you read the job description.
I was scared to leave K there with him. I cried but knew I couldn’t stay.
I ask supervisor what I’m supposed to do at shift exchange now that K is gone, because I stoped giving M shift exchange because he would just scroll on his phone and ignore me. Supervisor told him he needs to accept shift exchange from anyone.
M says he only wants it from the lead. Lead explained to him he’s not working the next two days so he needs to get it from me. M asks why he can’t get it from other male coworker. Lead says because Im designee lead when lead is not here.
M calls his friend complaining that lead is “taking the next two days off” and is baffled by it, not realizing the next two days are leads normal days off and lead just worked over two weeks in a row.
M accepts shift exchange from me. Cool.
One night I’m working with M. Supervisor told me to only do the task that requires 2 people because M needs to do his job now that K isn’t here to do it for him. Cool I have school work to work on.
It takes M 2 hours to print 2 excel sheets, he only had to print them. I lost my cool because what the fuck??? I said if you can’t do your job then you should quit. He laughs and says he’s not quitting until he’s walked out of here by HR. He then tells me I have no one to take care of at home and he has 2 autistic sons to care for. I said you know for a fact I have no one? He says yes, I said ok whatever helps you sleep at night. I tell my supervisor. She trains him again on how to print the sheets out.
Another coworker replies to his shift notes that don’t make sense, asking why he sent them out 3 hours before his shift ended. Supervisor told him he can’t do that. He doesn’t get why.
In one of his shift notes he randomly listed a client who’s no longer part of the program. I replied to his email that said client is no longer here so he shouldn’t be in shift notes. M replied saying he didn’t do that he would never do that he knows client isn’t here. I replied saying it’s in the notes you sent me. Lead and I discussed it with him when he came in, showed him the proof. He says he’s has no idea how that happened. I said well you had to click send. Says it wasn’t him. I said well you and lead worked that night, so are you trying to say lead got on your email and sent it? M said he’ll take a lie detector test to prove his innocence. I said ok be more mindful these notes go to the state.
Another night it takes him 3 hours to print out the sheets. He says he’s losing it, he doesn’t know the answers. I lost my shit bc wtffffff. He said he’ll just have to take the heat. I said that’s not okay it’s your job to print it out and nobody is going to do your job for you. Supervisor is gonna be pissed when she gets here to relieve me. M says that’s nothing new. I said well you should strive to succeed at your job instead of being stagnant. I ask him if he even knows how to do his job and he says evidently not. I said well you should resign then. He laughs and says he’s not going anywhere until HR walks him out. I tell supervisor when she gets here. She calls me soon after asking what happened. I said I yelled at him because he’s refusing to do his job and it’s not okay he’s just waiting for someone else to do it.
Whenever days later HR asks me to my face to let M know they will be calling him at a specific time to talk to him. I email M and tell him to his face. I watched M delete my email. Told supervisor.
Most recently he shit his pants at work, supervisor had to work with him while he had shit in his pants and a shit stain on his pants.
I started putting a towel down on the chairs we share in the office. M asks lead why I’m doing that. I said I heard someone had an accident at work so now I just wanna keep my pants clean.
He went to HR but I haven’t heard anything.
A client was talking to M & I, after client walked away M asked what clients name was. I said you don’t know the clients names? He said no. I said that’s not safe you should know all their names.
Tonight I’ve had enough. We’ve had suspicions of a client having contraband for almost 2 weeks but haven’t been able to locate it. I found it tonight. M had no idea we were looking. for something. I explained the importance of checking emails everyday and actually reading them. M ignored me. I clocked out 10 minutes later and told him it’s very rude to ignore someone and that the things I have to say about work are important.
I texted supervisor and let her know I’ve had it up to here. I’m tired of M having no consequences for refusing to do his job and being a dickhead. I said something needs to be done or I will put my two weeks in and that I have been looking for other jobs. I said it’s unfair to the people who work here that actually care about their jobs. It’s beyond ridiculous that a coworker can’t communicate with another coworker about work.
I know supervisor is going to call me tomorrow and wanna talk when I get to work. See what she can do so I don’t leave. She has a major fear of me quitting since the org is going to shit, because I am a by the book person and that causes conflict, and because I was recently attacked by a client at work.
I’m hoping I get the job at the place I just interviewed at. My job is hard because of my age and gender, but if I had the right coworkers backing me up I wouldn’t give up on the org.
Supervisor knows about everything going on but nothing is being done. She’s apologized to me that she’s trying, and she truly is. I told her she can’t change people’s behaviors.