A biblical counselor continues to tell me that I need to submit my heart to God. I told her that I am following God, she says that I'm not listening and that I need a heart change. I was recently frustrated regarding church and I talked to this biblical counselor to seek emotional support. She told me that I need to stop being selfish and to follow God's will and not my own.
I'm a United Methodist but I've been contemplating on leaving my church after not hearing Jesus's resurrection from the grave on Easter Sunday. I live right next to a Catholic parish. I'm interested in Catholicism but the Protestants warn me to stay away and tell me that it's evil. I don't know why I feel afraid to attend other than fear mongering from Protestants. I've attended Mass before and found it quite peaceful. The Catholics are friendly and welcoming. As a Protestant, I'll admit I'm still on the fence about Mary and the saints but I'm researching. I've attended a church in every denomination but haven't found one except the Catholic Church where I found peace at. I definitely refuse to go back to the Baptist church after experiencing abuse, manipulation, and controlling behavior. I'm seeking the TRUTH, connections, possible friendships, being able to serve in a ministry, small groups, Bible studies, love, compassion, grace, mercy.
I read an article online regarding the different denominations and how many members and churches each denomination has. I read that Catholicism has 6.1 million members and that piqued my interest. The Catholic Church must be true. I've been wanting to check out the Catholic Church but other Protestants have been telling me to stay away.
I'm wanting to give up on the church but I'm not turning away from God. When I expressed to a good friend my frustrations towards church, she informed me that I need to change my heart and stop being selfish. I serve in a ministry at the United Methodist church that I currently attend. Before attending the United Methodist Church, I attended a couple of Independent Fundamental Baptist churches and didn't have a good experience even though they preach truth and the Gospel. I feel like I've attended a church in every denomination offered. I'm tired of the abuse, the manipulation, the controlling behavior from leadership and members of the congregation. I'm tired of the superficial or forced relationships at church when I seek the truth, connections, friendships, a home to belong to, to be accepted and welcomed. A place where love, grace, mercy, forgiveness is extended to each other. I understand that all churches and people have their flaws. Maybe I'm expecting too much from the church or from the congregation?