Im tired of the disrespect, entitlement, and degradation ive experienced from people in different areas of my life. Therapy feels like a humiliation ritual being passed along different psychiatrists. Meds Dont work and just create more problems.
I dont feel like having to codeswitch and wear a mask my whole life to people please and to be accepted. Most people are cowards and people just use you for their personal expense or emotional needs/validation. The minute you fray from your "Accepted Role" its met with degradation and disrespect.
Im not saying im a perfect person, far from it actually but atleast im in tune and self aware to some degree.
Overall it really doesnt matter. Id just be another number among the millions that have done it and will do it.
Everytime i think of suicide i feel immense relief. No im not gonna stick around so these dickheads can feel good about themselves.
No im not calling 988 or 911 just so some f***** cop can show up on my doorstep and point a gun in my face so i can spend a week in a medical jail cell. Talking is pointless atp.