u/Doitnownotlater9

Feel utterly disgusted with myself with how little I made it. Had some drinks Saturday night and found myself placing a bet. Woke up yesterday thinking it was a dream.

I think in order to be the person I want to be, I need to be sober. Allowing nothing to lower my inhibitions and make me relapse.

I will not let this stop me from recovering.

This is just a hurdle.

Keep on keeping on.

Coming into day 4, happy Sunday everyone and hope you have this day to relax and recover from the week!

Morning everyone!

Sipping on some coffee (as I always do most mornings) on a calm Saturday morning. Checking in with myself and how I am feeling. I made today’s pledge, and I hope you all do too.

Have a great day today everyone!

Sipping on some coffee while on break from work and checking in with everyone. I told myself just for today, I will not gamble. That is the promise I am going to make myself every morning.

Hope everyone has a good weekend! Make sure to get out and smell the flowers.

I am a 27 year old man. I have nothing to my name. I have worked since I was 15 years old. I began gambling when I was in college at the age of 20 and it has completely ruined my life in every way. Money, relationships, trust, ego, you name it.

I have had clean periods of approximately 6 months, with each relapse putting myself in a worse situation than what I was in before. Everyone I love knows about my addiction, and can tell when I am gambling just by my demeanor. Last night I was gambling, while about to fall asleep in my bed. I lost the last cent that was in my account, and I laid there, just numb. I knew this feeling, it wasn't foreign to me. I just cried and asked myself why before falling asleep.

No one is forcing me to do what I am doing, I have chosen the path, I have chosen to spend the money, I have chosen to chase the dragon essentially. All of this is happening while fully aware that it all ends the same, yet it feels impossible to control.

Win, lose, doesn't make a difference. I am not there for the money, I am addicted to playing. The rush, buzz, hit, whatever you want to call.

I realized that it may not be my fault I fell prey to something that is designed to be addictive; however, it is my responsibility to address it and change for the better. This thought has really changed my thoughts on what gambling addiction really is.

I read a post here earlier this morning while having a cup of coffee on my break at work, which made me tear up. To know that gambling does not own you, and that I am not too far gone, made me feel hopeful for once in my life. That I have the power to change for the better, and to be persistent in what I want in life.

As most gambling addicts do, we get into debt. This debt I have, which I have been paying since I was 21, makes me feel utterly sick to my stomach. The reality is though, the money is not the problem. I am a sick person, and I actually want to change. What a horrible life to put yourself. You work to pay off debt, in order to gamble more, which just puts you back into debt.

I do not want to live life like this anymore.

I am a compulsive gambler, this is my day 1 of recovery. May 7, 2026.