So I'm normally a pretty big stickler for dress codes. I really, really hate it when people don't have at least a basic understanding of them or at least a willigness to learn them, because I see them as a respect sort of thing. That said, I'm running into a situation that I hadn't entirely considered before. Our families have major blends of wildly varying cultures, ethnic backgrounds, *and* classes on top, and I'm worried about leaving people feeling high and dry or out of place.
I am biracially White as a ghost with significant amounts of Indigenous family members on our tribe's reservation. My parents were able to claw themselves upwards class wise from living in an unheated camper for a large chunk of their early relationship, so I was raised very comfortably middle class with significant awareness of the rural poverty lots of my extended family faced around them and that we had a familial obligation to help in emergencies and extend some luxuries is asked and doable. My fiance is whiter than me and raised very thoroughly working class, but his Aunt is Moroccan and his uncle has a decent pension because of his military career that led to them meeting, and he has a significant amount of either culturally muslim or religiously muslim cousins, and a few family he's only just getting to reconnect with from other backgrounds from his late estranged father's side.
My fiance isn't much help navigating this, he's never known or understood these things because he doesn't have friends who are interested in getting married, and never had any major family events to learn these things from as a kid either. I am trying to hone in on what I can realistically ask of people as a host, while not leaving a massive divide between different sections of our family clusters in how they approach our wedding. Both of our grandparents are getting up there in age, we aren't entirely sure his will even be able to make it, so if they can, I don't really want to push them beyond what any of them are comfortable with, which I know for my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather and several middle aged cousins is sunday best at most, but I also have cousins who enjoy the ability to dress up when they get a chance, because it's so rare for them. And my fiance said that if his cousins rsvp, there's a 50/50 chance they show up in culturally appropriate celebration attire rather than western because he's family, and don't want them to feel like major outliers either.
Our wedding's general vibe is going to be "fantasy" because of how we met, but not necessarily in a ren faire sort of way, and the venue itself isn't especially casual either, as seen attached photos. Anyone have advice on how to navigate this? We're aiming for a late afternoon to early evening thing so we aren't keeping people up especially late, probably wrap up around 9 or 10, and the dinner will be buffet catering style.
So far, the working idea I have in my head is along the lines of "Semi-formal, but come however you feel comfortable. Fancier or comfier are both welcome. Please wear comfortable shoes."