u/Difficult-Warthog450

Hey guys , so my inicet center is far away from my home . All the travel expenses and living cost will ne around 25k . I have not prepared well cause my main target in neet pg . I was actually in a very bad space mentally and didn't study well cause I was constantly anxious not just about studies but about everything ij general in life and felt like I will go crazy . I think I need a break from studies or else I won't be able to study properly for neet . So should I give ini or should I tell my parents that I need a break and should go for a small trip

Last year during internship I didn't study well and I thought I will take a gap and will study properly. Last year I was getting anesthesia but I thought I should give a try for my dream branch and thought this one year won't matter in the long run but I was sooo wrong . I had only 3-4 friends during my mbbs and after internship ended we had some problems and our group broke . Although I thought it was a good thing cause the group was very toxic but now the situation is I don't have anyone to talk to . This gap year has been very hard for me . I am having anxiety attacks . I used to suffer from health anxiety but in the gap year as I am studying from home and I am alone all the time cause my both parents work . My health anxiety has aggrevated further plus now I am having anxiety attacks about my future . I am afraid what if things go wrong what if this time I don't get my dream branch ? What if I score worse than last year and don't even get anesthesia? And due this since last week I am not able study properly. Whenever I sit to study I suddenly get a wave of anxiety . I don't know what to do. I can't share this with my parents cause they will worry about me .I really thought I took the right decision for myself by taking a gap year but I am now afraid of exam .

Anyone reading this from 2020 batch don't even think of taking a gap if you don't have a strong support system . Try your best this year only . I wish I had someone to tell me this last year 😪