u/Different_Monk1111

Yesterday I received my first mothers day where people were texting me saying happy mothers day. However I am not a mother. They were texting me happy mothers day because I have cats. Although I know they were only doing it out of kindness, it really upset me.

I dream of being a mother one day, and receiving those messages was just an all day process of being acknowledged for something that I'm not. Something that I dream of having, but don't.

I guess I always expected my first wish of a happy mothers day to be the first time I actually have children, ya know? It kinda feels like that was taken away from me now.

I know I'm probably just thinking about it too deeply, and I don't care how anyone celebrates it, but I wish people didn't include me in a day of celebrating mothers when I have yet to become one.

What are your opinions?

My father has been an alcoholic my entire life. I am 24 and I've only seen him maybe 10 times in my life, and only for a few hours each time. He tries to do rehab and he always tries to call me and text me and he has never missed a holiday text. However we have been in a circle for a long time. He goes years of drinking heavily to then getting sober for about a year and a half, then relapses again. He is a good person when sober but when drunk he just blames everyone, and likes to cause arguments.

I have reached a point where I just don't want to be involved anymore I'm trying to build my own life and worrying about him and trying to keep him straight has been really hard. However my dad got scratched by a cat in his eye and it is really infected. He keeps pushing off going to the hospital for the surgery to get his eye removed. He finally set up an appointment but then he got arrested and had to miss it. He is now homeless, drunk and roaming the streets of the town I grew up in.

The problem I am facing is that he keeps calling me and texting me drunk. Asking for me to talk to him and to go see him. However I'm just so over it. On the other end he could actually die. I really do not want to see him in the state he is in, but I feel bad for him. I don't want to miss the chance of seeing him for the last time. However I really don't want to see him in this state. This might sound insensitive but I'd really only go to see him for his sake. I really don't know my father, but I've always wanted my dad. Im just having a hard time figuring out what to do in this situation.

Thank you in advance for any advice ❤️