I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how badly manipulation can mess with your head.
My ex was involved with another guy before and after me, and for a long time I ignored so many red flags because I genuinely cared about her. There were lies, mixed signals, emotional games, and situations where I was made to feel guilty for reacting to things that were actually hurting me.
Eventually I found out more than I should have, and in anger I ended up telling the other guy and some of her friends about the things she did and how she treated people behind their backs.
At the time, I felt justified. I felt like I was exposing the truth after being manipulated for so long.
But now that time passed, part of me feels conflicted. Not because what happened to me was okay, but because I know the damage probably affected her deeply too. I never wanted to become someone driven by revenge or anger.
It’s weird realizing someone can hurt you badly, and yet you still don’t fully enjoy seeing them hurt back.
I think the hardest part is understanding that standing up for yourself and acting out of pain are sometimes very close to each other.
Has anyone else dealt with this kind of guilt after finally reacting to being manipulated?