u/Different-Bird-7107

Hello! Griztronics is going to be my first solo festival! I have been to two previous festivals at the Gorge (Beyond & Bass Canyon) but alongside other people. I am a small (5’2), 29 year old afab nonbinary queer human.. so it does make me a little nervous, especially being in GA.

I used to be an avid raver years ago but have been out of the scene for awhile due to medical reasons. With that, I kinda lost touch with my previous rave fam and have been starting from scratch. I just so happened to be one of the lucky ones to score tickets and I know this is a show I cannot miss.

I know our community is so loving and welcoming, but I am mostly nervous about the social aspect and getting my stuff stolen. I can be socially awkward, especially when tired, and since I’ve been out of the scene, I just got extra pre-rave jitters. I used to be very confident putting myself out there but have since become a bit reserved again. I keep telling myself once the bass hits my body, it’ll all be okay haha.

I am still getting everything together for camp and made sure to purchase a Lunchbox hydro pack for in the venue.

I appreciate anything yall have to say <3

In 2021, I started to take testosterone (assigned female at birth, identify as non-binary trans masc) and of course one of the first things that changes is clit growth, aka you get a t dick. I was already settling into some major bodily changes.

I also injured my knee and had to go on crutches and do PT. The lack of mobility caused me a lot of depression, on top of my other mental illness at the time. I was in a relationship and didn’t want my symptoms to effect what we had going on, so I decided to try some antidepressants to get me by until my knee healed up.

I got prescribed multiple antidepressants but none of them seemed to help much. One of those antidepressants was Effexor. I was only Effexor for only one week and when I had sex with my partner, I realized I felt nothing. I immediately stopped the medication and was told I should have the symptom of sexual dysfunction go away relatively quickly, maybe a few weeks. It did not.

It’s 2026 and sex has been an issue for me since, although somewhat gotten better. I can usually get off by myself with suction toys and if I mentally stimulate myself enough with porn.. but it all takes a very specific motion and mentality for me to get there. It is hard for me to get aroused and the endorphins do not move through me. It may be that I have so much anxiety now with my dysfunction that it prohibits my functionality. I just can hardly feel a thing. The lack of libido and feeling has just led me to identify with being grey ace. I’m actively single and don’t even want to try to be in another relationship right now partially because of this.

I used to have sex all the time and never had any issues. I used to get so drunk off the endorphins and have so much energy. There’s just very little passion now and it, as you all know, fucking sucks.

I’m curious about supplements to try so I’m looking into that. I also would be curious to hear other trans stories. I do want to mention I was on testosterone for about 1.5 years during that time in 2021-2023, but have been off of it until about a month ago. We shall see if it helps.

I still have knee pain but I am much more active now and, besides shit like this, I am actually in pretty good mental health. I eat relatively healthy- probably better than the average American. I have tried Wellbutrin and Viagra in the past as recommended by doctors- hasn’t helped. Hopefully it will all change with more time.

Looking at Raverunner and Lunchbox anti theft hydro packs for Griztronics next month. The Gorge website says hydro packs are limited to 2 pockets but these hydro packs all have multiple pockets- mainly smaller ones in and outside compartments. Has anyone had issue with these packs? I don’t wanna spend $100 to get rejected at the venue gate.

Edit: seeing a lot of people have brought in Lunchbox hydro packs- anyone brought Raverunner?